Laughing Commie Productions Presents : If You Could Read My Mind { Ch. 1 + 2 }

Laughing Commie Productions

{ Yet another thread of “Tales From The Land Of Chairman Mao’s Miracle” }

Dear Friends :

Laughing Commie Productions , a subsidiary of Bea Wildered Enterprises , in conjunction with Queen Yes Dear Productions and The Chinese Educational Broadcasting System is pleased to present another episode of ” Spaced Teacher’s Classroom “. In this episode our intrepid American Hero , Spaced Teacher , assigns his class to produce an original skit. This episode is entitled ” If You Could Read My Mind” and is based upon the song  of the same title by the great Canadian troubadour Gordon Lightfoot. The Chinese love a good love story.

Directed by : The Great Spielberg Chan

Produced By : Queen Yes Dear

Videography by : Spaced Teacher

Written by and starring Spaced Teacher’s students.

A supporting cast of a few courageous students.

We hope you enjoy the show.

Please remember to support your local Troupe Of Laughing Commies.

The Kracker Barrel Awards : The Tale Of Trayvon

Dear Readers :

While the management of The C.I.A. { Crackers In Action } believes that the fact that Mr. Paul Stanner is the most muti - talented Kracker in the Krackerverse is eminently obvious we do recognize that he is not the only talented Kracker in the Krackerverse so consequently we will feature what we feel are deserving efforts by our Kracker Brethern and Sisthren whenever their efforts strike us as worthy of a little recognition. The only reward these Krackers will get from this is a Cracker Salute and what little recognition exposure on this site brings. Hey hey Krackers I don’t want to hear your pissing and moaning we are living on Kracker Krumbs here !! Take the recognition such as it is and be happy.

Today we bring you a charming little ditty by a gentleman named Ratoo , ” The Tale Of Trayvon ”. This contribution came to us via a comment on Paul Stanner’s article “ Another Trayvonning : Provo , Utah ” We think you’d all agree that Mr. Ratoo is a TwIStEd Kracker indeed and will fit in very nicely here.

The Tale Of Trayvon

By Ratoo

(to Funky Rap Beat)

Here is the Tale of Tough guy Trayvon

Thought he was gangster, but now he is gone

Someone Trayvoned his ass

Someone Trayvoned his ass

Drug dealing, watch stealing

Crime is what he did

Creepin round in the dark,

With tools and loot hid

Went to the store to buy Skittles and Tea

So if he was caught, he’d have de-ni-abil-ity

Jumping over fences, walking through the hood

Looking into windows, up to no good

(very brief silent pause)

Who will Trayvon his ass?

Who will Trayvon his ass?

Casing out a house, he met a guy named Zimmer-MAN

Thought he was a honky, but he were a badass Mexi-CAN

Trayvon talking tough, threw a couple blows,

Knocked him to the ground, broke his freakin nose.

Grabbed him by the head, pounding into the ground

Zimmer-MAN made his move, then there was a sound

(very brief silent pause)

He Trayvoned his ass

He Trayvoned his ass

　

Take then this lesson, learn it if you can

Do not mess around, with a badass Mexi-CAN

A badass Mexi-CAN

(very brief silent pause)

He will Trayvon your ass

He will Trayvon your ass

Final verse, spoken:

Run away punk: don’t make me Trayvon your ass.

Copyright

All Rights Reserved

Equalizer Group, Inc., et al

The Blue Dress Chronicles { April 17 , 2012 }

Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. the OTHER CNBC is proud to announce a new program to our lineup. ” The Blue Dress Chronicles “

From time to time we will put the spotlight on our government officials as they do what they do best. The Blue Dress Chronicles is sponsored by “The Anne Fanner Show “ The National Dry Cleaners Association and Victoria’s Secret and hosted by Anne Fanner herself. Our winner will receive a $500 blue evening gown of his / her choice a gift certificate for $500.00 worth of dry cleaning and a $ 5000 shopping spree at Victoria Secret.

I hope The Banking Queen wins !! What a Kodak moment it would be to see him in that blue evening gown. Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment. lol

Today’s nominees come to us from Washington D.C. and Cartagena , Columbia. Yes yes I said nominees.  We are honoring a group today. It seems like just yesterday that all the Liberals were saying ” It was JUST a blow job !! What’s all the fuss ? ” Let a couple of Secret Service guys get their hedges trimmed by a paid professional whore though and all of a sudden we need a Congressional investigation. My God you’d think they propositioned an intern or some such similar egregious offense . To see the evidence in support of the fun loving Protectors Of  POTUS nomination click here please.

  You’ve done Bubba proud guys. Keep it up !!! Pun intended . lol

 That will conclude this evening’s program. See you next time.

Anne.

Flour to the people !! We SHALL bake !!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!

Trayvon Trouble : Grand Rapids , Mi.

Trayvon Trouble : Grand Rapids , Mi.

By Paul Stanner

CNBC regretfully announces new programming to it’s line – up today. In our new addition ” Trayvon Trouble ” we will focus on the stories of The Unfashionable Victims of Organized Black Thuggery all over the country. We would dearly like not to have to provide this program but unfortunately since The Drive By Media refuses to cover them and since The Progressive / Liberal Powers That Be will not prosecute them as vigorously or fight the root causes as zealously as the more P.C. crimes because these stories conflict with their world views and political goals we feel that we must provide the forum. ” Trayvon Troubles ” will continue as part of our programming line – up until such time as we feel that the ” Men Of God ” such as ” Rev” Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton , ” Rev . ” Jessie ” Hymie Town ” Jackson , ” Rev. ” Calypso ” Louis Farrakhan and the rest of their ilk involved in our time’s version 0f ” The Civil Rights Movement ” that foment this thuggery get the freaking message and until such time as the above mentioned can show as much compassion for these victims as they do for a juvenile delinquent who met an unfortunate demise as a result at least partly of his own stupidity. Since it’s been shown time and again over the last fourty years that these folks are just too damn stupid to grasp the elemental concepts of honor , fair play , and personal responsibility we expect a long and vicious battle. We are confident of ultimate victory though. Americans of all races are awakening to the true nature of these folks. It’s a new day Poverty Pimps no longer will us Crackers cower in fear at the threat of being called a racist by one of you. Let the games begin.

Today’s victims of Trayvon Trouble come to us from Grand Rapids , Mi. The case involves SEVEN attacks against White people by Organized Black Thuggery in Grand Rapids , Mi. Not surprisingly the local media refuse to report the hate crime nature of this attack and the local politicians refuse to do anything about it. CNBC wishes that we could report that the Revs. Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton , Jessie ” Hymie Town ” Jackson , ” Calypso Louis Farrakhan , President Barry Soetero , The NAACP or any Black leader of prominence expressed their outrage at this heinous crime but we can’t. This crime is just not politically fashionable enough for the above mentioned to make money on or maintain their profiles in the national media. CNBC advises that nobody hold their breaths waiting for the above mentioned to give a damn about these victims. Satan will have a lemonade stand in Hell before The Unfashionable Victims get some attention from our ” leaders “. There are only so many tears and so much compassion to go around and all of the above mentioned spend their’s ONLY on The Melanin Enhanced people of America.

In Memoriam

Trayvon Trouble : Westfield N.J.

Trayvon Trouble : Westfield , N. J.

By Paul Stanner

CNBC regretfully announces new programming to it’s line – up today. In our new addition ” Trayvon Trouble ” we will focus on the stories of The Unfashionable Victims of Organized Black Thuggery all over the country. We would dearly like not to have to provide this program but unfortunately since The Drive By Media refuses to cover them and since The Progressive / Liberal Powers That Be will not prosecute them as vigorously or fight the root causes as zealously as the more P.C. crimes because these stories conflict with their world views and political goals we feel that we must provide the forum. ” Trayvon Troubles ” will continue as part of our programming line – up until such time as we feel that the ” Men Of God ” such as ” Rev” Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton , ” Rev . ” Jessie ” Hymie Town ” Jackson , ” Rev. ” Calypso ” Louis Farrakhan and the rest of their ilk involved in our time’s version 0f ” The Civil Rights Movement ” that foment this thuggery get the freaking message and until such time as the above mentioned can show as much compassion for these victims as they do for a juvenile delinquent who met an unfortunate demise as a result at least partly of his own stupidity. Since it’s been shown time and again over the last fourty years that these folks are just too damn stupid to grasp the elemental concepts of honor , fair play , and personal responsibility we expect a long and vicious battle. We are confident of ultimate victory though. Americans of all races are awakening to the true nature of these folks. It’s a new day Poverty Pimps no longer will us Crackers cower in fear at the threat of being called a racist by one of you. Let the games begin.

Today’s victims of Trayvon Trouble come to us from Westfield , N.J. The case involves a rape and murder of a 57 year old White woman by means of strangulation and stabbing committed by a young Black Gangsta Wannabe FROM 1976. Trayvon Trouble has indeed been with us for a very long time. CNBC wishes that we could report that the Revs. Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton , Jessie ” Hymie Town ” Jackson , ” Calypso Louis Farrakhan , President Barry Soetero , The NAACP or any Black leader of prominence expressed their outrage at this heinous crime but we can’t. This crime is just not politically fashionable enough for the above mentioned to make money on or maintain their profiles in the national media. CNBC advises that nobody hold their breaths waiting for the above mentioned to give a damn about these victims. Satan will have a lemonade stand in Hell before The Unfashionable Victims get some attention from our ” leaders “. There are only so many tears and so much compassion to go around and all of the above mentioned spend their’s ONLY on The Melanin Enhanced people of America.

In Memoriam

Trayvon Trouble : Minneapolis , Mn. { # 2 }

Trayvon Trouble : Minneapolis , Mn.

By Paul Stanner

CNBC regretfully announces new programming to it’s line – up today. In our new addition ” Trayvon Trouble ” we will focus on the stories of The Unfashionable Victims of Organized Black Thuggery all over the country. We would dearly like not to have to provide this program but unfortunately since The Drive By Media refuses to cover them and since The Progressive / Liberal Powers That Be will not prosecute them as vigorously or fight the root causes as zealously as the more P.C. crimes because these stories conflict with their world views and political goals we feel that we must provide the forum. ” Trayvon Troubles ” will continue as part of our programming line – up until such time as we feel that the ” Men Of God ” such as ” Rev” Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton , ” Rev . ” Jessie ” Hymie Town ” Jackson , ” Rev. ” Calypso ” Louis Farrakhan and the rest of their ilk involved in our time’s version 0f ” The Civil Rights Movement ” that foment this thuggery get the freaking message and until such time as the above mentioned can show as much compassion for these victims as they do for a juvenile delinquent who met an unfortunate demise as a result at least partly of his own stupidity. Since it’s been shown time and again over the last fourty years that these folks are just too damn stupid to grasp the elemental concepts of honor , fair play , and personal responsibility we expect a long and vicious battle. We are confident of ultimate victory though. Americans of all races are awakening to the true nature of these folks. It’s a new day Poverty Pimps no longer will us Crackers cower in fear at the threat of being called a racist by one of you. Let the games begin.

Today’s victims of Trayvon Trouble come to us from Minneapolis Mn. The case involves a pack of young Black Gangsta Wannabe Flash Mobbers on bicyles that were terrorizing White people at random soley for being White. Nmerous White folks were seriously hurt and some were extremely seriously hurt. CNBC wishes that we could report that the Revs. Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton , Jessie ” Hymie Town ” Jackson , ” Calypso Louis Farrakhan , President Barry Soetero , The NAACP or any Black leader of prominence expressed their outrage at this heinous crime but we can’t. This crime is just not politically fashionable enough for the above mentioned to make money on or maintain their profiles in the national media. CNBC advises that nobody hold their breaths waiting for the above mentioned to give a damn about these victims. Satan will have a lemonade stand in Hell before The Unfashionable Victims get some attention from our ” leaders “. There are only so many tears and so much compassion to go around and all of the above mentioned spend their’s ONLY on The Melanin Enhanced people of America.

In Memoriam

 

Trayvon Trouble : West Philadelphia , Pa.

Trayvon Trouble : West Philadelphia , Pa. By Paul Stanner CNBC regretfully announces new programming to it’s line – up today. In our new addition ” Trayvon Trouble ” we will focus on the stories of The Unfashionable Victims of Organized Black Thuggery all over the country. We would dearly like not to have to provide this program but unfortunately since The Drive By Media refuses to cover them and since The Progressive / Liberal Powers That Be will not prosecute them as vigorously or fight the root causes as zealously as the more P.C. crimes because these stories conflict with their world views and political goals we feel that we must provide the forum. ” Trayvon Troubles ” will continue as part of our programming line – up until such time as we feel that the ” Men Of God ” such as ” Rev” Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton , ” Rev . ” Jessie ” Hymie Town ” Jackson , ” Rev. ” Calypso ” Louis Farrakhan and the rest of their ilk involved in our time’s version 0f ” The Civil Rights Movement ” that foment this thuggery get the freaking message and until such time as the above mentioned can show as much compassion for these victims as they do for a juvenile delinquent who met an unfortunate demise as a result at least partly of his own stupidity. Since it’s been shown time and again over the last fourty years that these folks are just too damn stupid to grasp the elemental concepts of honor , fair play , and personal responsibility we expect a long and vicious battle. We are confident of ultimate victory though. Americans of all races are awakening to the true nature of these folks. It’s a new day Poverty Pimps no longer will us Crackers cower in fear at the threat of being called a racist by one of you. Let the games begin. Today’s victims of Trayvon Trouble come to us from West Philadelphia , Pa. The case involves a young Black Gangsta Wannabe that murdered a young White woman and abused her corpse. CNBC wishes that we could report that the Revs. Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton , Jessie ” Hymie Town ” Jackson , ” Calypso Louis Farrakhan , President Barry Soetero , The NAACP or any Black leader of prominence expressed their outrage at this heinous crime but we can’t. This crime is just not politically fashionable enough for the above mentioned to make money on or maintain their profiles in the national media. CNBC advises that nobody hold their breaths waiting for the above mentioned to give a damn about these victims. Satan will have a lemonade stand in Hell before The Unfashionable Victims get some attention from our ” leaders “. There are only so many tears and so much compassion to go around and all of the above mentioned spend their’s ONLY on The Melanin Enhanced people of America. In Memoriam

The Trayvon Martin Memorial Hoodie Sale

The Trayvon Martin Memorial Hoodie Sale

By Paul Stanner

Cracker News Broadcasting Co. — The OTHER CNBC is  pleased to announce that as a means of honoring the legacy of the late Trayvon Martin we will be holding our First Annual Trayvon Martin Memorial Hoodie Sale. Our hoodies our made by Booker T. Apparel of the finest 100 % cotton. They will come in two color schemes  , red Black and green so that you can honor Tryavon’s African heritage and politcal affiliation at the same time . This is THE hoodie for the Black Gangsta Wannabe that wants to proclaim that he is proud to be Black And Communist While Walking. It will make a great gift for the Gangsta Wannabe or the Kross Kultural Kracker in your life. The second color scheme will be all Black. This is THE hoodie for those late night walks to the local 7 – 11  for ” iced tea and skittles”. What self respecting Gangsta Wannabe would want his face to be seen while burglarizing homes er er er I mean while going to the local 7 – 11 for iced tea and skittles? This hoodie only comes in the xxx size and is padded. Again no self respecting Gangsta Wannabe is going to allow his weapon or burgalry tools to be either seen or heard. As an added bonus it will also cover the G.W.’s ass when his pants fall down. CNBC would like to thank Booker T. Apparel for having the foresight to think of that. No Gangsta Wannabe’s ass is something that CNBC wants to see. All of our hoodies will be silk screened with a picture of one of the icons of The Gangsta Movement A.K.A. The Progressive Movement. Priced at just $ 55. 95 our hoodies are a reasonably priced fashion statment that even Wanabe Gangstas should be able to steal enough for rather quickly. Any paid order in the next 30 days will receive a free gift of your choice to be chosen from the list below courtesy of CNBC.

      1. A picture of The Cursed Chappaquidick Chariot of St. Theodore who is one  of the most Holy of Saints in the Pantheon of The Holy Church Of The Dumbasses.

    2. An auotgraphed book of Bidenisms.

    3. An autographed picture of The Banking Queen

   4. A slideshow of The Congressional Black Caucus’s vacation in Cuba.

To order please visit our e-store at

www.bookert.com. T o reach us by phone please call 1-800 – are – you- dumb.

On a related note : CNBC as many of you know had planned to honor the late Trayon Martin with a ” Hoodie Burning ” on May 1 , 2012 however in light of recent events we’ve decided to move the event to Labor Day week-end. We’re certain that by then the country will be in flames as the result of the impending racial war declared by the Confused Man – Children Of Philadelphia and Rev. Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton’s Posse Of Ludicrous Litigants. Not to worry though CNBC guarantees that should you wear your Trayvon Martin Memorial Hoodie to the riot the  Gangsta Wannabes will be so confused about what the Hell a Cracker would be doing in ” Da hood ” wearing that they’ll most likely leave you alone. We’ll also guarantee that should you decide to throw it on the bonfire of the late not so lamented Detroit or some other Gangsta Wannabe stronghold , Chicago leaps to mind , that it will burn a glorious shade of orange. Sit back and enjoy the show Crackers.

All proceeds from our Trayvon Martin Memorial Hoodie Sale will be divided equally between The George Zimmerman Defense Fund and The United Cracker Scholarship Fund. A mind is a terrible thing to waste even a White – Hispanic one or a Melanin Deficient Cracker one.

The Che Guevera 

 

The MLK

 

The Race Baiting President  $ 59.95

The St. No Limit Nigga

 

The Young Trayvon

 The Spike Lee

The KKK

The Black Panther

The Al Sharpton

The Louis Farrakhan

The Maxine ” Troubled ” Waters

The George Zimmerman

 

The Booker T. Washington

OH WAIT !! That was a mistake!! No self respecting Gangsta Wannabe is interested in the teachings of somebody so eminently sensible as Booker T. Washington. What good are self reliance , education , hard work , and pride in this world after all? It’s just so much easier to steal somebody else’s preferably a Cracker’s — ANY Cracker’s. Our BAD !! We apologize . I’ll   speak to the proof reading dept. Sure I will. lol 

CNBC is certain that we’ll have more Gangsta Wannabe icons for your hoodie wearing needs real soon.

 

Flour for the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!

Piss On A Trayvon Enabler Day

A National Day Of Disrespect A.K.A. Piss On A Trayvon / Trayvon  Enabler Day.

By Paul Stanner

A few months ago there was a controversy regarding the U.S. Marines pissing on a few Muslim Taliban corpses in Afghanistan. As usual our Liberals had a hissy fit over what the Marines did. Also as usual not a word was uttered by them about the numerous unspeakable atrocities committed by Muslims worldwide. At that time I wrote an article entitled ” A National Day Of Disresepct A.K.A. National Piss On A Muzzie Day { Figurativley Of Course }”.

Fast forward to late March in Sanford , Fla.

A  young Black juvenile delinquent with a bad attitude and no gun out for a leisurely stroll to the local 7- 11 for some ” iced tea and skittles “  walks through the alley ways of the gated community neighborhood he was a guest at wearing his hoodie up on a warm rainy Fla. night taking an indirect route to his destination. The local White – Hispanic Neighborhood Watchman sees him and notifies the local police. He gives the desription and reason why he believes this person to be suspicious. He is told not to follow this person so he turns and starts to walk back to his car. The juvenile delinquent jumps him and a fight ensues. An eyewitness views this fight .The juvenile delinquent bangs his head against the sidewalk repeatedly. Bad move by our little ” iced tea and skittles ” Trayvon. Apparently he doesn’t realize that the Watchman has a gun. Result one dead ” iced tea and skittles ” football playing young Black model citizen OR one dead juvenile delinquent Gangsta Wannabe depending on which story you believe. The Watchman is interviewed by police and not charged. A few weeks goes by and then all Hell breaks loose.

Enter Rev. Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton and his Posse Of Self Annointed Gods Of Racial Justice. The lynching drums start their slow steady beat. Threats of civil disobedience ensue , racial violence breaks out all over the country against White people in ” Trayvons Name ” , a bounty is issued on the Wathcman’s head , the New Black Panther Party issues a Declaration Of War against all Cracker people. They promise that the streets all over America will run red with Cracker blood. The 911 call of the original incident is doctored to favor their ” iced tea and skittles “  hero , the Sanford Fla. police station entrance is blocked by the local Black” activists ” seeking ” justice for Trayvon ” thereby denying entrance to everyone, at the news conference announcing the Watchman’s arrest the Florida D.A. describes Trayvon’s parents as ” sweet “. She mentions not a word about Mr. Zimmerman’s , the Watchman’s , parents.  And the lynching drums keep beating slowly reaching crescendo pitch. Meanwhile Rev. ” Tawana ” and his posse mention not a word about the thousands of young Black men killed by other young Black men nor a word about the White victims as a direct result of this lynch mob mentality he has created or of any of the thousands of victims of Black on White crime which are probably best exemplified by the Knoxville , Tn. case. Apparently Rev. Al and his Posse only have so many tears and so much compassion. Also apparently only the Melanin Enhanced people are worthy of these Little Tin God’s time and efforts.

My friends on my list of the people that are the scum of the Earth the Trayons of the world and Their Enablers are only about a quarter step ahead of the Muzzies . It is indeed time for A National Day of Direspect A.K.A.  Piss On A Trayvon / Trayvon Enabler Day { Figuratively Of Course } CNBC urges you to do that wherever and whenever you find one of them and keep doing it until THEY GET THE FREAKING MESSAGE !!!

God help you George Zimmerman. You’re going to need His help.

The ” Big Scooper ” Dishes

Breaking News !!! Breaking News !!!

Dateline Washington D.C.  April 11, 2012

Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. – The OTHER CNBC

An undercover CNBC source by the code name of ” The Big Scooper ” has informed us of a breaking scandal in President Obama’s own backyard. All the details have not emerged to date but our source informs us that it has to do with an egregious case of racial profiling. We know that all of the usual suspects  Revs. Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton ” Jessie ” Hymie Town ” Jackson , ” Calypso ” Louis Farrakhan , The Congressional Black Caucus , The NAACP , The Southern Poverty Law Center , The Confused Man – Children Of Philadelphia er er er I mean The  New Black Panther Party and The A.C.L.U. have come to this victim’s defense . They are promising some serious civil strife if justice is not done quickly. No word yet on whether Spike Lee’s GPS is working. Word has it that Roseanne Barr is still busy giving the Mesals shit and picketing The Mormon Tabernacle Choir so thusly has had no comment to date. To the best of our knowledge no bounty has been issued yet by The Confused Man – Children Of Philadelphia er er I mean The New Black Panther Party although we wouldn’t be a bit surprised if one was forthcoming iminently.As is the usual case with perpetrators of this nature of heinous criminal act we feel certain that this perp is hiding right in plain sight also.

After having our legal minds look into this case it appears that CNBC is going to find ourselves in the extremely distastefull position of having to side with Rev. Al and his Posse Of Ludicrous Litigants on this one. Yes yes we know that disapoints you but right is right. For more details in this story please click this link. It would seem that before the Libs go telling Sanford Fla. how to clean up their mess that they should get their own house in order. Yes yes I know editorial comment.

Reporting from Washington D.C. for CNBC Elizabeth A. Kita

Flour for the Crackers !! We SHALL BAKE !!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!