A String Of Pearls And A Smile.

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

CNBC sources have uncovered yet another Obama Administration cover – up . According to our sources there was a terrorist attack at Logan Airport in Boston , Massachusetts Thanksgiving Eve.

As my regular readers will remember earlier this week ” Big Sis ” issued a terror alert for Minneapolis regarding a highly skilled team of terrorists enroute to Minneapolis , Mn. The Pervert Patrols were put on HIGH alert to stop these terrorists and have been anxiously trying to find them before they reek havoc on America. Today they struck.

The terrorist team mingled with the holiday crowds for about one hour without arousing the suspicion of anybody. How they were able to change into their uniforms and weapons in full view of everybody without arousing suspicion is certainly going to be cause for somebody’s head to role. At 5:00 P.M. they STRUCK !!! Armed with only  a string of pearls and a smile they stormed The Pervert Patrols waving their flag and shouting their slogans. The Pervert Patrols ran for their  lounges in abject horror screaming ” Oh my God we’re under attack by Sweden. Somebody call ” Big Sis ” !!”

Needless  to say the patrons of the airport were quite stunned by this — ” Sweden ? Why the Hell are the Swedes attacking us? Haven’t we apologized to them already. Why are they naked ?  ” Once the terrorists made certain that The Pervert Patrols were securely locked in their lounges they broke out their Swedish coffee and apple cake and invited their American cousins to sit and chat a while. FINALLY the Americans realized what was going on and broke into a standing ovation for these  ” terrorists ” .  After chatting for an hour it was time for the Hockey HitGrannies to board their flight to Minnesota. They were escorted onto their plane by the Captain and crew like the conquering heroines they were. By this time it had occured to  a member of The Pervert Patrols that perhaps Washington needed to be notified since nobody seemed to give a damn about their plight. Tearing himself away from the cable porn in the lounge he finally figured out  how to use the pay phone and called ” Big Sis “. ” B.S. ” Was NOT amused by The Hockey HitGrannies. She called The Usurper In Chief for instructions. As usual when there is trouble in America he was not available. Our sources inform us that he was in Western Pennsylvania at a turkey farm where he was conducting the World Apology Tour by apologizing profusely to the local community for the hundreds of years of Avian Genocide committed by Americans of Caucasian European descent. Yes yes you and I know that Pennsylvanis is part of America but seriously guys can you expect a Kenyan to know that? It’s not his fault that he doesn’t realize it’s one of the 56 states. We’re told that the Gobbler Nation were singularly unimpressed as are the inhabitants of most nations that have met him. During all the confusion while waiting for Washington to make a decision the flight crews of all  departing flights and the control tower personnel being of sound mind and possessing great common sense saw to it that all passengers were seated WITHOUT being sexually molested and that all flights left on time and arrived on time. Meanwhile back at the World Apology Tour , Avian Genocide stop the Usurper In Chief’s teleprompter malfunctioned so a message could not be gotten to him. The decision fell to The Joint Chiefs of Staff. The Joint Chiefs being military men and knowing a serious threat when they saw one did the only thing they could do. They dispatched 4 F 16′s  to escort the Hockey HitGrannies to Minneapolis. The pilots of these  F 16′s having been appraised of the situation and having great senses of humor added a nice little touch of their own. They attached the Swedish flag to their planes and gave a nice tip of the wings to the Hockey HitGrannies. You gotta love those Jet Jockeys !! lol God bless the U.S. Air Force. Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment. Now you’ve been reading this blog long enough to KNOW one was coming sooner or later. All other flIghts that left Boston were guaranteed clear skies by the U.S.A.F.

Upon arrival in Minneapolis The Hockey HitGrannies were greeted by thousands of cheering Americans waving the Swedish flag and were given a police escort to their hotels. The local hotel managers being smart business people welcomed the Grannies with open arms and endorsement contracts. Commercials are in the works. There is no mold growing on these Grannies. lol The local Minnesota Swedish population is understandably thrilled with The Hockey HitGrannies.  Tomorrow they are scheduled to have a meeting with the Governor of Minnesota. They and their Grandsons hockey teams will be the guests of the Minnesota Wild. The N.H.L. is reported  to be interested in doing some promotional work with the Grannies and has guaranteed the Grannies 8 games in Sweden next season. I’m sure the Grannies can look forward to many more lucrative proposals coming their way.

What a great Thanksgiving Holiday week-end it turned out to be courtesy of nineteen new American heroines from Sweden. ” Big Sis “  ” The Usurper In Chief and The Pervert Patrols got punked by 19 Blue Haired  Naked Swedish Granny ” terrorists ” wearing nothing but a string of pearls and armed with just a smile , and great charm and wit and all Americans made it home to their families on time WITHOUT being sexually molested and in good humor.

God Bless the Swedish Hockey HitGrannies!! CNBC suggests that in honor of the Swedish Hockey HitGrannies we all fly the Swedish flag until the Grannies go home to Sweden next week. Would anybody like to bet that The Pervert Patrols just wave them right through on their flight home? lol

Flour to the Crackers , Cookies and Pretzels !! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your crumbs around !!!

Making Thunderbirds

Making Thunderbirds

In the Spring of 1953 two young men disembarked a troop transport plane in N.Y.C. These two young men were returning home from fighting World War Two in the Pacific Theater and a tour in post World War Two American Occupied Japan. They were naturally a bit apprehensive about the future considering all they’d been through but basically very confident with good reason. They were justifiably heroes in American’s eyes. Their future was indeed bright. They were Americans.

Generals Eisenhower , Patton , Bradley and MacArthur had won the war. General Dynamics , General Foods , and General Motors would secure America’s and their future. They took full advantage of their Veterans Benefits and got an education , a job , bought a house and started their families. They and America generally were proud confident and excited about their future. Their dreams were coming true. America was busy  ” Making Thunderbirds “.

How could they know that in just a few short years that those dreams they bought with their blood and sacrifice at places like  Corregidor , Iwo Jima , Guadalcanal , Batan , Omaha Beach  and Flanders Field would be vilified by their own American leaders? How could they know that America hating forces were emerging who’s express goal was to steal their dream?

In the early 1960′s a young  man that over the course of many years would become known to his believers as The Lion of Liberalism and to his enemies as Saint Theodore of  The Cursed Chappaquidick Chariot would get elected to Congress from the formerly great state of Massachusetts. This young man would be almost solely responsible for starting the process by which The American Dream of these two young men would be crushed. Senator Kennedy would lead the fight for immigration reform. No longer would immigrants from our traditional allies get preference , no longer would an ability to speak English be necessary , no longer would a serious criminal record disqualify you , no longer was a job required , no longer was any knowledge of American history or America’s political and economic systems required .

As a result of this and other policies such as welfare and affirmative  action Watts and other inner cities burned , the Black family was destroyed , well qualified White people were passed over for less qualified Hispanics and Blacks and  The Sexual Revolution destroyed all vestiges of civilized behavior between the genders. America was hurting.

Liberalism  had always been here but now these very clever Liberals had re-branded their foul philosophy for a very gullible public using such noble sounding phrases as ” social justice ” and ” equality ” and ” progress “. The Liberals began taking over the universities ,and culture. They managed to get elected as Congressman , Governors and State Legislators. Liberalism had turned malignant largely because of the gullibility and apathy of the the American people. We had forgotten who and what we were and more importantly who allowed us to have the good fortune to be able to spend our lives ” Making Thunderbirds in the first place.

The two young men saw their dream dying and were stunned that this could happen in such a short period of time. They were angry because THEY had paid for everybody to be able to have this dream and were powerless to stop what was happening. Some Americans knew where these dangerous phenomenons were leading including these two young men but unfortunately not enough.  America however was still strong and able to resist this cancer but only for a while.

The cancer was growing rapidly and becoming very dangerous

In the 1970′s the Liberals moved onto the next phase of their plan. The Greedy Goobers of Globalism emerged espousing a new  theory  –  Free Trade. The world needed a New World Order they said in order to guarantee peace. The signature tenent of that New World Order was Free Trade.  Free Trade would guarantee world peace because everybody’s economy would be tied into the New World Order they told us . This Free trade would be good for AMERICAN prosperity they said . Once again and for the same reason a gullible American public bought this onerous concept. The G.G.G.’s started Free Trade with a civilized people in the Japanese probably to see how much resistance there would be. The American people put up virtually no resistance. The G.G.G.’s were highly encouraged and very highly motivated. It was time to move on to their REAL goal — China. We MUST trade with China we were told so that we can build a Chinese Middle Class that will stop the more militant members of Chinese  society from starting World War Three.  It will be good for AMERICAN prosperity we were told. Free trade with China began in 1988. American leaders sold America to China piece by piece for pennies on the dollar. To this very day that policy continues. Over the course of that 20 years AMERICAN prosperity has declined rapidly while China’s has rise enormously high courtesy of the American taxpayer. Neither the Chinese or American working people saw the benefits of this policy but the G.G.G.’s made a killing. Phase 2 was complete. The cancer was metastisizng rapidly. America was beginning to wake up though.s

The two young men were now livid with rage. The American Dream that they bought and paid for for their families and all of humanity for eternity as far as they were concerned , with their own blood in the Pacific just a few short years ago was given to FOREIGNERS and COMMUNISTS to boot.. They felt like pariahs in their own land.

The Liberals were dealt a few setbacks in the 90′s but they were only temporary in large part because their growing opposition elected the wrong leaders. In 2008 a usurping Village Idiot from Kenya preaching a vacuous pablum of ” Hope And Change ” was elected President and the Liberals won both houses of Congress , once again because the gullible  American people forgot  who and what they were and who gave them their good fortune. The Liberals were ecstatic,  they had total control. They could now realize their long held dreams — LEGALLY. They went crazy with what they tried to force the American people to accept. I think this is recent enough history that I don’t need to rehash it here.

The Liberals were confident that the American Dream these two young men fought so valiantly for was now dead . The two young men although now despondent beyond words thought otherwise. Being Warriors and Patriots they did what Warriors and Patriots do they fought back as did millions of other people. The counter attack began in 2010. The  Usurping Village Idiot and His Posse of The Dangerously Deluded no longer had total control. There was a new sheriff in town!! The counter attack will be completed in 2012. It will be time to take out the trash !!

If you are a Liberal you are a malignant tumor on American Society. I suggest that you change your attitude and come join us BEFORE  2012. If you decline I can guarantee you that WE will change it for you and that that will be a highly unpleasant experience for you.

If you are a young person that has spent too much time listening to your leftist college professors and have forgotten who paid for your freedom and who and what you are and who gave you that cherished heritage I suggest that you enroll in a REAL school and get educated as to those facts. I also suggest that you join the U.S. Armed Forces to gain a little first hand  personal knowledge of the people that guarantee your right to be willfully ignorant. If you decline then we will adjust your attitudes also. As above I can guarantee you that that will be a most  unpleasant experience  for you.

The 2012 Express Hope and Change is going to be rumbling through the nation soon Liberals. You’d better get on board or get run over.

Let’s Rock America !! It’s time we started ” Making Thunderbirds ” again

P.S. : For any of you that would like to know , those two young men in the story were my Father and Uncle. I’m sure that on this Thanksgiving Holiday they as well as all of our other veterans and current service people would appreciate your best Thanksgiving wishes. I strongly urge you all to keep these men in your prayers. It won’t be long before The Greatest Generation is GONE forever.

 

The Pecan Sandy Awards

Dear Readers :

Cracker News Broadcasting Corp – The OTHER CNBC is pleased to announce a new feature to our programming line – up — The Pecan Sandy Award. The Pecan Sandy Award will be given to Crackers that I , and only I , { It’s good to be the  Head Saltine } think deserve some recognition and support for their honorable and selfless work in their respective communities. The Pecan Sandy Awards are sponsored by Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. – The OTHER CNBC and The Keebler Elves. The winner will receive a one year supply of Pecan Sandy cookies care of our little buddies ,  a dozen roses and an  Italian dinner care of yours truly and a heartfelt thank you from a grateful nation.  Our first winner is Cracker Elyse ” Ten Toes ” Buongiorno  and her staff for their VOLUNTARY work with American veterans at Eagle Up . To see what Elyse and her staff are doing please click here and also please join Elyses’s team and donate as much as you can to help our veterans.

Kudos and thank you  ” Ten Toes ” on your dedication and commitment. Keep up the good work.

Please feel free Crackers to nominate anybody you feel may be deserving of a Pecan Sandy Award.

A little aside to our readers that may be wondering why I named the award The Pecan Sandy Award. Now think about it Crackers does ” The Cheeze Nip Award ” or ” The Wheat Thin Award ” have quite the same pizazz ? Besides Crackers and Cookies are related so what is your problem?

Flour to the Cookies !! We Shall Bake !!

 

Now go spread your crumbs around Cookies.

Cordoba Center To Sponsor Friendship Concerts

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. – The OTHER CNBC

Dateline : New York City Nov. 20 , 2010

C.N.B.C. sources within the  entertainment industry are reporting that the powers behind the Cordoba Center Mosque at  Ground Zero in N.Y.C. have grown increasing annoyed with the Islamophobia of Mr. Kinky Friedman and Mr. Snoop Dogg and their business ventures which to them are insulting to Islam. In reply to that perceived Islamophobia  The Imams  of Insensitivity  will  launch a cultural counter attack. Our sources indicate that the leaders of the Cordoba Center will be teaming with various Christian Churches of the Kumbaya Christian Denomination to bring a series of ” Friendship Events “,think Rick Warren and the like ,to bring Islamic music and art to America. Rumors are circulating that the first endeavor will be a musical concert that will be the Cordoba Center’s reply to Mr. Friedman’s ” Friday Night Rocking With Allah Hoedown And Pig Roast “ to be held at Reverend Rick Warren’s Church in  California. The talent line-up for that evening is tentatively announced below. All of these artists will appear pending the granting of Visas by the American government and the passing of The Burqa Love Pat by The Pervert Patrols of T.S.A. upon arrival in America . Please note that all of the acts will be performing one of their smash hits that American audiences will know and the rest of the program will consist of brand new material written exclusively for this ” Friendship Concert ” As Follows :

From Damascus Syria that Rocking Ensemble

One Way Ticket

One Way Ticket will be performing their smash hit remake of the classic  ” Suicide Is Painless “

From Tehran , Iran the inspiring and beautiful

The 72 Virgins Heavenly Choir

The 72 Virgins Heavenly Choir will be performing their  smash hit remake of the Bernadette  Peters classic ” Making Love Alone “.

From Beirut Lebanaon that fun loving rocking band The Jolly Jihadists

The Jolly Jihadists will be performing their burn the house down smash hit remake  rendition of ” Fire — I Bring You To Burn “

From Mecca , Saudi Arabia The Burqa Babes.

The Burqa Babes will be performing their kick ass remake smash hit version of  Maria Muldaur’s  hit ” Don’t You Feel My Leg “

This one promises to drive the infidel males freaking nuts. Yes yes I know editorial comment. lol

The Cordoba Center will be providing free Middle Eastern food for all non Moslems to sample. Some of the dishes on the menu will be as listed below :

baba ganoosh , tahini , hummous , falafel , goat , beef , and lemon yogurt.

CNBC  is looking forward  to this event. Be there or be square. Seriously guys how could you even think about turning down a chance to see the Burqa Babes doing ” Don’t You Feel My Leg ” That all by itself is a once in a life time opportunity. Yes yes I know YET ANOTHER editorial comment. DAMN guys it’s MY blog !!

Reporting from N.Y.C. for CNBC  Abdullah ” Big Horn ” Saleem

Flour to the Crackers !! We Shall Bake !!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers

 

 

It Was Just A Matter Of Time Before SHE Got Involved In This Issue

BREAKING NEWS!!! BREAKING NEWS!!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. – The Other CNBC

Dateline : San Francisco Ca. Nov. 19 , 2010

Mrs. Sharon Spencer of the heretofore unknown political group ” Don’t Ask !! – DON’T Grope “  has just made an announcement that the women AND men members of her group are no longer  going to stand by and be molested by The Pervert Patrol of The Transportation Safety Agency. Mrs. Spencer has by means of written and oral communication informed ” Big Sis ” that they will be filing a lawsuit against ALL members of The Pervert Patrols that molest her members or ANY other person that seeks their help. Mrs. Spencer continued by informing ” Big Sis ” that her group has retained the legal services of Wendy Emily Bustnuttzz Esq. Chief Attorney of The Feminist Law Department of the law firm of Dewey , Cheatum and Howe of San Francisco.

Oh BOY !! This should be great fun!! W.E. Bustnuttzz vs ” Big Sis “

Talk about your Dyke Duel to the Death. This will be ” must see T.V.. LOL

Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment. Here comes another one. A word of advice for all male members of The Pervert Patrols. Be VERY careful where you put your hands. W.E. Bustnuttzz has a fireplace mantle stacked with souvenir ” stones”. Oh and if you are a female member of the Pervert Patrols don’t get cocky. The only thing W.E. Bustnutzz loves more than she hates men is money. She won’t bat an eye to destroy you either.

Please stay tuned to CNBC for more details in this story as they emerge. Our investigative reporters are hard at work as we speak trying to discover who is behind this shadowy new group. Inquiring minds want to know and so you shall.

Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!

 

 

” Grope And Strange “

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. – The OTHER CNBC

Dateline :   The White House Washington D.C.  Nov. 19 , 2010

Informed CNBC sources within the White House are telling us that The Usurper In Chief and His Dumbass Enablers  are in a serious panic about huge losses of support in every demographic except one — PERVERTS , therefore a serious rebranding of their message and a concentration solely on his remaining demographic is under way. Kevin Jennings will be the new Campaign Chief , The Banking Queen will be the new Congressional Democratic Outreach Chief ,  and ” Big Sis ” will be the new Chief of Staff. Sources inform us that many more changes will be coming. The new slogan of the rebranded message will be ” Grope And Strange “.  Acorn has been instructed to begin a search , identify and register mission for all undocumented perverts. Congress will of course and as usual be exempt from any new regulations and rules. There are rumors circulating of millions of new Pervert Patrol Agents being hired.

Stay tuned to CNBC for further developments as they emerge.

Reporting live for Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The OTHER CNBC Da Shawan Epping

Flour To The Crackers !! We shall bake !!

Now  go spread your crumbs around Crackers.

Inspiration for this story came from Cracker Ronald Faria. Kudos to you Cracker. Well done.

Filed under Cracker Culture, News Of THE Nation Tagged with Cracker Culture, Kevin Jennings, Panic At 166 Pennsylvanis Ave. Crackers, Perverts

Panic At 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.!!

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. – The OTHER CNBC

Dateline :   The White House Washington D.C.  Nov. 19 , 2010

Informed CNBC sources within the White House are telling us that The Usurper In Chief and His Dumbass Enablers  are in a serious panic about huge losses of support in every demographic except one — PERVERTS , therefore a serious rebranding of their message and a concentration solely on his remaining demographic is under way. Kevin Jennings will be the new Campaign Chief , The Banking Queen will be the new Congressional Democratic Outreach Chief ,  and ” Big Sis ” will be the new Chief of Staff. Sources inform us that many more changes will be coming. The new slogan of the rebranded message will be ” Grope And Strange “.  Acorn has been instructed to begin a search , identify and register mission for all undocumented perverts. Congress will of course and as usual be exempt from any new regulations and rules. There are rumors circulating of millions of new Pervert Patrol Agents being hired.

Stay tuned to CNBC for further developments as they emerge.

Reporting live for Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The OTHER CNBC Da Shawan Epping

Flour To The Crackers !! We shall bake !!

Now  go spread your crumbs around Crackers.

Inspiration for this story came from Cracker Ronald Faria. Kudos to you Cracker. Well done.

Panic At 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. – The OTHER CNBC

Dateline :   The Whitehouse Washington D.C.  Nov. 19 , 2010

Informed CNBC sources within the Whitehouse are telling us that The Usurper In Chief and His Dumbass Enablers  are in a serious panic about huge losses of support in every Demographic except one PERVERTS , therefore a serious rebranding of their message and a concentration soley on his remaining demographic is under way. Kevin Jennings will be the new Campaign Chief , The Banking Queen will be the new Congressional Democratic Outreach Chief ,  and ” Big Sis ” will be the new Chief of Staff. Sources inform us that many more changes will be coming. The new slogan of the rebranded message will be ” Grope And Strange “.  Acorn has been instructed to begin a search , identify and register mission for all undocumented perverts. Congress will of course and as usual be exempt from any new regualtions and rules. There are rumors circulating of milions of new Pervert Patrol Agents being hired.

Stay tuned to CNBC for further developments as they emerge.

Reporting live for Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The OTHER CNBC Da Shawan Epping

Flour To The Crackers !! We shall bake !!

Now  go spread your crumbs around Crackers.

Inspiration for this story came from Cracker Ronald Faria. Kudos to you Cracker. Well done.

Jimmy Hoffa Found —– Alive !!!

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. – The OTHER CNBC

Dateline : Portland Oregon Sep. 8 , 2010

The Pervert Patrols of The Transportation Safety Agency have just announced a stunning arrest. At 7:00 P.M. this evening an elderly Moslem woman by the name of Fatima Ibn Bin Sultan Ibrahim Al Monsour Farooq tried to board a plane to Minneapolis , Mn. For some reason known probably only to himself an Agent of The Pervert Patrol became suspicious of the Moslem Lady. He notified his superiors of the reason for his suspicions and a Hajb ” Love Pat ” was performed. Much to EVERYBODY’S amazement this woman’s true identity was determined. Mr. Jimmy Hoffa is now under arrest and awaiting questioning by the Justice Department.

Stay tuned to CNBC for further details in this story as they emerge.

Reporting live  from Portland , Oregon for Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. The OTHER CNBC  Inge Johansson.

Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers.

Score One For The Pervert Patrols !!!

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. – The OTHER CNBC

Dateline Portland Oregon Nov. 18 , 2010

The Pervert Patrols of The Transportation Safety Agency have just announced a stunning arrest. At 7:00 P.M. this evening an elderly Moslem woman by the name of Fatima Ibn Bin Sultan Ibrahim Al Monsour Farooq tried to board a plane to Minneapolis , Mn. For some reason known probably only to himself an Agent of The Pervert Patrol became suspicious of the Moslem Lady. He notified his superiors of the reason for his suspicions and a Hajb ” Love Pat ” was performed. Much to EVERYBODY’S amazement this women’s true identity was determined. Mr. Jimmy Hoffa is now under arrest and awaiting questioning by the Justice Department.

Stay tuned to CNBC for further details in this story as they emerge.

 

Reporting live  from Portland , Oregon for Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. The OTHER CNBC  Inge Johansson.

Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!

 

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers.