The Fat Man’s Posse STRIKES !!!

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

The following is a News Bulletin from The Cracker News Broadcasting Corp — The OTHER CNBC.

Dateline : Chicago Illinois Dec. 23 , 2010

Earlier this week a noted Chicago politician stirred up a hornet’s nest in a neighborhood he should have had the great good sense to leave well enough alone. The Future Cracker Congressman from Az. presently residing in Chicago , Illinois  The Honorable but apparently not terribly bright Mr. Israel Vasquez posted the picture and caption appearing below on his Facebook page.

Quote Mr. Vasquez ” It’s time to tell the kids that Santa Claus is dead. “

Well not terribly surprisingly Mr. Velasquez’s actions and sentiments did not go un-noticed in The Hallowed Halls of The Fat Man’s Workshop. Earlier this evening The Fat Man exacted his revenge.

At approximately 11:30 this evening while Mr. Velasquez was taking his late night constitution  through the neighborhood The Fat Man’s Posse  STRUCK!!! Mr. Velasquez was cornered in a dark alley by a group of HIGHLY pissed and extremely vicious Elves and beaten severely with GIANT candy canes. Mr. Velasquez was found with   assorted broken bones , his mouth taped shut with a piece of  fruticake in it by a Christmas ribbon and a tattoo of an Elves Posse on his L forearm with the phrase ” Rollo was here.” CNBC has also learned that Mr. Velasquez’s house has been painted red , white and green and had a huge sculpture of Santa and his reindeer erected on the front lawn and Merry Christmas spray painted about the property. Mr. Velasquez is understandably very shaken but is  currently resting comfortably in the hospital. His Doctors have assured him and his family and an adoring public sans the Elf and Santa constituencies of a full recovery . Our sources report that like the true politician he is Mr. Velasquez is  already consulting with his team to determine how he can win back the Santa and Elf constituencies of his district.

CNBC wonders how the Hell it is that an obviously highly intelligent man such as Mr. Velasquez doesn’t know that there are three things you don’t do in America? You don’t tug on Superman’s Cape, you don’t pull the mask off of  The Lone Ranger and you NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER FUCK WITH SANTA CLAUS !! CNBC also thinks that anybody that is STILL wearing bow ties probably deserved the beating he got anyway. Is it any wonder that the country is in the shape it’s in when we have politicians THIS FREAKING DUMB !!?? Yes yes I know those are editorial comments. We’ve been through this MANY times before. It’s MY DAMN BLOG !!!

The above story was obviously inspired by the Esteemed Future Cracker Congressman from Az. Israel Vasquez. Merry Christmas Israel. Don’t worry about the tattoo they have people now that can remove those. I’d keep my eye on The Fat Man and Rollo though. It may NOT be over  yet !!! lol You know how those damn Elves can be.

Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!!

Now  go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!

The Tolling Bells: Final

The Tolling Bells : The Gift Of Hope

By Anastasia Of The Lake

As we left off at the last sentence of the first “Tolling Of The Bells”, he had just driven off from the Twilite Inn after indulging in magnificent sex with Miss Blond and Evil Barmaid. At this moment driving in the car he pushed the dial of the radio louder and louder to drown out those damn tolling of the bells .NOW he thought as he massaged his knife like pain in his temple, ” what have I just done? “

He kept repeating those words over and over in his mind as a click of a typewriter of olden days would do ,click ,clack.He felt his body quiver no longer from passion but from the act of Betrayal. This man was not usually the type that would ever indulge in this activity. He knew, he just knew the man friend he had made was laughing and laughing at him, knowing he had destroyed a large hunk of this mans life and the man, Ricardo was filled with pleasure in his demonic conquest. See Ricardo had planned this betrayal that his new, sic, friend would do. He had been priming him for 6 months. You see Ricardo had met the wife of the man of  the tolling of the bells. Her astute observation and questions of him angered him. He was a man that was not used to challenge, by a female especially. He also observed that there was a special warm bond between the man and his wife, it was lovely, tender and caring. Ricardo despised that, those good things between the two. See he was a serpent. Yes dear readers a true demonic serpent dressed in human flesh.

As the ride home seemed an eternity, the man of The Tolling Bells, thought I must get these clothes off  I MUST. As he pulled in the garage arriving at home he didn’t even bother at this late late hour to wait , immediately he tore off the red plaid shirt and the pants he wore and placed them in a garbage bag, to never be worn again. He entered the house, and quietly went up the stairs. There he saw the figure of a woman laying in bed. He would never share this secret. He promised himself she will never know. He showered and got into bed next to the unknowing woman he had vowed to be true to. He laid awake a long while. Not wishing even to accidentally brush her skin in any way. That would be too painful. And as he drifted off he heard in the early dawn light the “Tolling Of The Bells”, only this time he knew they were real, as they were from his own church down the street.  He was crushed but his pride said never will I tell her.

He went on with his life. Things had changed that night at the Twilite Inn. His relationship with the woman he had vowed to love forsaking all others would never be the same again. He went about now as a wild man of sorts. He lived a life of great sadness, but he turned it into a force of hatred of self and of women. He was wounded as a deer shot and left to die after a hit by a hunter. He loathed the once intoxicating blond, and buxom barmaid ,she had inflicted a great physical and mental pain he would never recover from.

Time passed, he never again entered the Twilite Inn. But did a fine job of making nice hits on babes all over as he went about his life. The once happy marriage he  now hated and wanted out but was at one time fearful and sickened as to what people, family, friends would say about him. So he rarely made it home except a couple nites a week and passed off to the wife who had noticed and remarked at the dramatic change in his response to her. No longer loving or good or even remotely kind was he any longer. She began to ponder her next move after repeated attempts and decided to confront him. He said NOTHING had changed his job of running a business was ever so consuming and worrysome and his sick father needed his attention as he was living his last days.

She, the wife made plans of her own. She spoke with someone who she trusted and decided the time was right. She said she wanted a divorce for so much had changed .He was nothing but a shell of the man she knew and the torture of just being in a room with him was far more than she could bear any longer. The pain was unbearable, she left. She started a new life, it was so hard as she had spent her time toiling at a job from her home, which many people do. And life was vacant except for two small girls she met at her new residence. The little girls transformed her and gave her the gift of hope, and as she played one day outdoors in the sun with them she heard as from when she was a child the majestic sound of  the tolling of the church bells. She smiled.

The Tolling Bells

The Tolling Bells

By Anastasia Of The Lake

The bells started to toll one late night of summer 1997, they rang out with such a piercing ring, that the normal HAPPY SOUND that church bells tolling brings instead became a pierced knife to the head.

As he sat in the loud and happy crowd at the Twilite Inn, he was working up his courage to do as he had planned over and over in his mind…………HE saw HER, the beautiful and well stacked blond at least two nites a week for a long number of weeks, and they flirted endlessly and SHE, so aware of her affects on him….DECIDED it was NOW or NEVER and she told him. He held her and kissed her in a hidden corner of the Inn and assured her he would return that Friday nite and they would do AS SHE SO BEGGED and HE SO WANTED~~~~~so the plan was hatched and the adrenalin rush for HE and SHE began its race….the heavy and oppressing waiting was almost tearing his heart and mind out with DESIRE! And in the DISTANCE…he heard THE TOLLING BELLS.

As he left the INN that nite he was filled with a new energy he had not experienced in many years, and SHE back behind the bar at her post of  SEXY and VOLUPTOUS BARMAID was filled with GLEE and chuckled at her conquest. She stepped outside for a cigarette in the lovely summer night air. TREASURING and DESIRING and KNOWING her wiles had caught another…………….AS she puffed and was soooo afloat in her glee she heard the strange unfamilar sound, at least to her of…………………..THE TOLLING BELLS.

The week flew by as fast as a rabbit, he reassured his wife that he was fine when he called in the evening to see if she was at home and doing just fine……………..once more…he heard THE TOLLING BELLS. The SEXY barmaid all ready for the nite ahead had made herself exceptionally BEAUTIFUL, paying attention to the long silky blond hair and the fragrance she dabbed in all the right places. Her makeup was PERFECT, her JEANS SKIN TIGHT and her TEE a snug snug fit that showed her ample busom and such so that the neck plunged so deep as to give ALL in view a glance of her delicious breasts, her nipples were shown all rigid. SHE was READY~~~AND SO WAS  HE …and as he drove he heard THE TOLLING BELLS.

They arrived at their meeting place in the corner back parking lot in the INNS back corner lot, near the woods. The hour was midnight and they entered her car. She was all giggles as was he, and THE TOLLING BELLS sounded a new revilary, they began the embrace, the EMBRACE OF BETRAYAL, and in the distance THE CHURCH BELLS TOLLED. The act of sexual gratification began its dance and SHE KNEW her moves and HE KNEW his. They culminated in what is supposed to be an exchange of LOVE into an act of SHEER LUST……………..and THE TOLLING BELLS  rang out LOUDER.

Immediately his remorse was great and she laughed with great and loud sounds. He wanted to RUN and get away. IT was too LATE it was done. AS he drove away from her and the Twilight Inn.He heard once again THE  TOLLING  BELLS.

As he progressed in the days to come THE TOLLING OF THE BELLS never stopped ringing in his head.

Welcome Anastasia To The CNBC Author Lineup

Dear Readers :

CNBC is pleased to announce the addition of a new author to our stable. Her name is Anastasia. You will know her as ” Anastasia Of The Lake “. We hope you enjoy her musings.

Paul Stanner

 

Holy Night

Dear Readers :

I’m wishing you all a Merry Christmas and all the best for the New Year. Peace on Earth , Good will towards men. I hope all 7 of you will enjoy my poetic Christmas effort.

Holy Night

By Paul Stanner A.K.A. Spaced Teacher

Oh Holy night so peaceful calm and still

When in the Eastern Skies

A sign appeared of His will

Heavenward they turned their eyes

To see him proclaim

His Son’s rise

The eternal flame

That never dies

Oh Holy night

So peaceful calm and bright

A message brought

By the Divine wind

Of the savior sought

By those that have sinned

Grace from the fall

Granted by this Gentle Might

Freedom for all

By His Blessed Light

Oh Holy Light

A gift from The Throne

Has been given

Upon His own

That have striven

To seek his face

And know his name

To find a place

Free from shame

Oh Happy Day

Now Walking with His people

The truth , the light , the way

No need to fear tomorrows

Or worry about the past

No time for the sorrows

They can not last

In these joyous times

He has sent

Celebrate !!! Ring the chimes !!!

Our sadness is spent

Oh happy day

Into the abyss

Sin shall be thrown

Forgiven forever by this Holy Kiss

Never more to be known

By Spacedteacher
”  Holy Night ” is the intellectual property of Spacedteacher
D.B.A. Bea Wildered Ent. and may not be used without express written
consent of Spacedteacher.