D-I-V-O-R-C-E
March 19, 2012 3 Comments
D-I-V-O-R-C-E-
By Paul Stanner
Friends I come to you today seeking your prayers. There has been an unfortunate turn of events in my family. My lover of 25 years has left me for another. Please pray for my family that has been so savaged by divorce. For the sordid details of our split please click here. I’m so sick of these sooth talking well dressed types with their money and connections destroying families just for fun!!
We were together for 25 years and it was such a delicious love affair. Whenever we were together it was a sensual delight. Alas however the currents of life carried us in different directions. One more charming than I stole my lover. Rest assured folks that life goes on and so will I. In the words of The Cowboy Poet Marshall Tucker ” Just as soon as I’m in the arms of another I’m going to forget all about you. “
Now if you’ll excuse me I have a date with my potential new lover. Her name is Haagen Daz Rum Raisin.
I pray that none of my Cracker family or friends ever have to suffer the pain of losing their beloved Cherry Garcia but if those dire circumstnaces befall you I suggest that you climb right back up on the horse and march down to 7 – 11 and buy some Haagen Daz Rum Raisin. She’ll ease your pain. Soon you’ll forget all about Cherry Garcia. Trust me I know.
Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!
Now go spread your rum raisin around Crackers !!
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Blue Bell Vanilla Bean! Get it hard, and wet it down w/ Classic Coke! Jerry was aiways such a 1%’er!
Dear Fallon :
We don’t have that here in the 18th Century . Civilization arrives slowly in The Land Of Chairman Mao’s Miracle.
And I’m still stuck on Blue Bell’s Strawberry Shortcake. Now I feel like a pedophile!