The Kracker Barrel Awards : The Tale Of Trayvon

Dear Readers :

While the management of The C.I.A. { Crackers In Action } believes that the fact that Mr. Paul Stanner is the most muti - talented Kracker in the Krackerverse is eminently obvious we do recognize that he is not the only talented Kracker in the Krackerverse so consequently we will feature what we feel are deserving efforts by our Kracker Brethern and Sisthren whenever their efforts strike us as worthy of a little recognition. The only reward these Krackers will get from this is a Cracker Salute and what little recognition exposure on this site brings. Hey hey Krackers I don’t want to hear your pissing and moaning we are living on Kracker Krumbs here !! Take the recognition such as it is and be happy.

Today we bring you a charming little ditty by a gentleman named Ratoo , ” The Tale Of Trayvon ”. This contribution came to us via a comment on Paul Stanner’s article “ Another Trayvonning : Provo , Utah ” We think you’d all agree that Mr. Ratoo is a TwIStEd Kracker indeed and will fit in very nicely here.

The Tale Of Trayvon

By Ratoo

(to Funky Rap Beat)

Here is the Tale of Tough guy Trayvon

Thought he was gangster, but now he is gone

Someone Trayvoned his ass

Someone Trayvoned his ass

Drug dealing, watch stealing

Crime is what he did

Creepin round in the dark,

With tools and loot hid

Went to the store to buy Skittles and Tea

So if he was caught, he’d have de-ni-abil-ity

Jumping over fences, walking through the hood

Looking into windows, up to no good

(very brief silent pause)

Who will Trayvon his ass?

Who will Trayvon his ass?

Casing out a house, he met a guy named Zimmer-MAN

Thought he was a honky, but he were a badass Mexi-CAN

Trayvon talking tough, threw a couple blows,

Knocked him to the ground, broke his freakin nose.

Grabbed him by the head, pounding into the ground

Zimmer-MAN made his move, then there was a sound

(very brief silent pause)

He Trayvoned his ass

He Trayvoned his ass

　

Take then this lesson, learn it if you can

Do not mess around, with a badass Mexi-CAN

A badass Mexi-CAN

(very brief silent pause)

He will Trayvon your ass

He will Trayvon your ass

Final verse, spoken:

Run away punk: don’t make me Trayvon your ass.

Copyright

All Rights Reserved

Equalizer Group, Inc., et al

The Kracker Barrel Awards : ” Moonglow ” By Anastasia Of The Lake

Dear Readers :

 While the management of The C.I.A. { Crackers In Action } believes that the fact that Mr. Paul Stanner is the most muti - talented Kracker in the Krackerverse we do recognize that he is not the only talented Kracker in the Krackerverse so consequently we will feature what we feel are deserving efforts by our Kracker Brethern and Sisthren whenever their efforts strike us as worthy of a little recognition. The only reward these Krackers will get from this is a Cracker Salute and what little recognition exposure on this site brings. Hey hey Krackers I don’t want to hear your pissing and moaning we are living on Kracker Krumbs here !! Take the recognition such as it is and be happy.  

Today we bring you a charming poem by Anastasia Of The Lake entitled ” Moonglow “.

            

  ” Moonglow”

Staring out the window on a cold and bitter night, she saw the moon bathed in a special glow. She thought how beautiful a sight, such splendor and so bold. The house was still; nights rest. But she stood alone watching the moon as she showed off her best.  Poems and songs have given rise to her glow, sharing in the splendor of the moons charms; enfolding many lovers into each other. Many a lover over centurys past; have been blessed with moonglow; when they at last they gazed at each other in passions thro; a love most surely to behold. Her spell she does cast onto others is waiting for you. So hurry at moonglow to find your love, and make haste to melt fast into each other; as most assuredly moonglow will in this, ‘The Moonglow.’ Dont waste a moment when she is at her best; for most surely you will be blessed.

 

Well done Anastasia.Your charm is exceeded only by your beauty. Are you somebody’s Queen? Reach in the Kracker Barrel Your Majesty and help yourself , grab a glas of milk, take your shoes off and set a spell.

 Flour To The Krackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

  Now go spread your Krumbs around Krackers !!

Chairman Mao Liked Mickey Mouse ??

Dear Readers :

While the management of The C.I.A. { Crackers In Action } believes that the fact that Mr. Paul Stanner is the most muti - talented Kracker in the Krackerverse we do recognize that he is not the only talented Kracker in the Krackerverse so consequently we will feature what we feel are deserving efforts by our Kracker Brethern and Sisthren whenever their efforts strike us as worthy of a little recognition. The only reward these Krackers will get from this is a Cracker Salute and what little recognition exposure on this site brings. Hey hey Krackers I don’t want to hear your pissing and moaning we are living on Kracker Krumbs here !! Take the recognition such as it is and be happy!!

Today we bring you a couple of   enchanting photos by  Paul Stanner entitled ” Chairman Mao Liked Mickey Mouse “. We’re sure you’ll find them as compelling as we did. For those of you that don’t know Mr. Stanner has been teaching Englsih at Chinese universities for the last ten years. We recently caught up with him in cyberspace and asked for a comment regarding these photos. Mr. Stanner replied thusly : ” I find it interesting that the Chinese people are shackled by the most repressive regime on Earth and yet they can maintain a Disney sense of imaigination and enchantment. I can only assume that for some unkown reason Chairman Mao liked Mickey Mouse. It’s probably for the same reason mass murderers raise orchids and keeep hundreds of cats.” Enjoy these photos taken in Guangzhou , China’s parks Krackers.

Intriguing and imaginative photos Paul. Well done. Reach in the Kracker Barrel Sir and help yourself, grab a pepsi , take your shoes off and set a spell.

Flour To The Krackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your Krumbs around Krackers !!

The Kracker Barrel Awards : ” Looking For Jesus ” By Jason Lantz

Dear Readers :

While the management of The C.I.A. { Crackers In Action } believes that the fact that Mr. Paul Stanner is the most muti - talented Kracker in the Krackerverse we do recognize that he is not the only talented Kracker in the Krackerverse so consequently we will feature what we feel are deserving efforts by our Kracker Brethern and Sisthren whenever their efforts strike us as worthy of a little recognition. The only reward these Krackers will get from this is a Cracker Salute and what little recognition exposure on this site brings. Hey hey Krackers I don’t want to hear your pissing and moaning we are living on Kracker Krumbs here !! Take the recognition such as it is and be happy!!

Today we bring you a series of  compelling photos by Jasonj Lantz entitled ” Looking For Jesus “. We’re sure you’ll find them as compelling as we did.

Powerful photos Jeff. Well done. Reach in the Kracker Barrel Sir and help yourself, grab a pepsi , take your shoes off and set a spell.

Flour To The Krackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your Krumbs around Krackers !!

Oh My What A BIG Hose You Have

Dear Readers :

While the management of The C.I.A. { Crackers In Action } believes that the fact that Mr. Paul Stanner is the most muti - talented Kracker in the Krackerverse we do recognize that he is not the only talented Kracker in the Krackerverse so consequently we will feature what we feel are deserving efforts by our Kracker Brethern and Sisthren whenever their efforts strike us as worthy of a little recognition. The only reward these Krackers will get from this is a Cracker Salute and what little recognition exposure on this site brings. Hey hey Krackers I don’t want to hear your pissing and moaning we are living on Kracker Krumbs here !! Take the recognition such as it is and be happy!!

Today we bring you an amusing photo by Paul Stanner entitled ” Oh My What A BIG Hose You Have” . We’re sure you’ll find it as amusing as we did.

An amusing photo Paul. I guess all those rumors about the Chinese having no sense of humor aren’t true. lo Reach in the Kracker Barrel Sir and help yourself, grab a pepsi , take your shoes off and set a spell.

Flour To The Krackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your Krumbs around Krackers !!

The Kracker Barel Awards : ” My Mother’s Desk ” By Esther Ferencz

Dear Readers :

While the management of The C.I.A. { Crackers In Action } believes that the fact that Mr. Paul Stanner is the most muti - talented Kracker in the Krackerverse we do recognize that he is not the only talented Kracker in the Krackerverse so consequently we will feature what we feel are deserving efforts by our Kracker Brethern and Sisthren whenever their efforts strike us as worthy of a little recognition. The only reward these Krackers will get from this is a Cracker Salute and what little recognition exposure on this site brings. Hey hey Krackers I don’t want to hear your pissing and moaning we are living on Kracker Krumbs here !! Take the recognition such as it is and be happy!!

Today we bring you an essay by Queen Yes Dear entitled ” My Mother’s Desk”. We’re sure you’ll enjoy it as much as we did.

Queen Yes Dear

” My Mother’s Desk ” By Queen Yes Dear

This lovely desk may be just junk to some but to me it is so much more. It’s not
an elegant piece , in fact its makings are of just an old
style wood that is not as sturdy as one might think.

This desk was my mother’s. The date of it’s purchase is unknown to me. She had a charm of knowing just when to make such a purchase as this. Her eye for detail coupled with her sense of simple elegance led to some interesting art and furnishings in our home.

No matter the history of Mom’s desk it is now mine. There is not a moment when I sit and write, that I don’t see mom’s bright smile. She and I, daughter and mom  had our share of fighting as only two strong and same willed women could.

As a teen I knew I drove her mad. She once  said I was so dramatic I would most surely win the Academy Award for best dramatic actress. We quarreled and fought but all for naught.

As my mother and I were not to be apart. She gave and she loved with all of her heart.

She lifted me up when I  hurt and thought surely I would die. The best place to be at these sorrowful times found me most surely in her arms when hurt I could not bear.

Some folks may have said I was not the best to my mom and maybe they are partly right since I was just a hothead who fought her at every turn. Some folks would say I am very much like her.

No one knew the real love my mom and I did share. It was so deep, even today I sometimes still weep. She was an “angel”, and given just to me. I shared her with my brother, my dad, and all her family whom she loved dearly.

So now I have her desk since she left this earth. I make sure she is always there , with her old Kodak Brownie camera and pictures she loved. Poems that she wrote, with a heart so true, tender  filled with so much love.

I have made her desk a fancy place to look upon and love, and when my time is done I pray the one who gets this desk, will keep the love it holds, sit at it and write feeling the love that only this piece of old wood can unfold. Secret treasures of the two women, who sat at this desk passed into the future for  someone new to behold.

~~ With A Daughters Love~~~

Queen Yes Dear

A touching story Ma’am. Reach in the Kracker Barrel Queen Yes Dear and help yourself, grab a pepsi , take your shoes off and set a spell.

Flour To The Krackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your Krumbs around Krackers !!