March 24, 2011 11 Comments
Breaking News !!! Breaking News !!! Breaking News !!!
Dateline Paris , France March 23 , 2011 Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The OTHER CNBC
Reliable sources have informed us that Paris is under attack by Libyan Forces. As we speak The Bedouin Batallions, Camel Cavalry Divison , are marching down the Champs Elysse in full shade and meeting no resistance. Moamar Gadafi is said to be lunching on hummus and goat cheese at a local Bistro while preparing to accept the unconditional French surrender. The chef at this bistro, Mssr. Jean – Phillipe Degas , is distraught over being forced to make such non French food. C’est la guerre he shouted indignantly !!!!RESIST!!! RESIST !!! mes ami. Chefs all over France have accepted the challenge. Our reporters tell us that you can hear the rattle and hum of saute pans all over France being raised in defiance of the Camel Jockeys of The Bedouin Batallions. The French Army meanwhile has done what they always do so very well. They have surrendered unconditionally , quoted the Geneva Convention’s Rules On The Treatment Of P.O.W.’s and asked for lunch.
General Claude DeChutzpah , the leader of the French Resistance Forces and his 12 conscripts have gone into hiding somewhere in the S.W. of France. Sources inform us that Gen. DeChutzpah has been quoted as saying the following ” Mon Dieu !!! Hummus and goat cheese being served at the Champs Elyssee Bistros !!! C’est la guerre !!!Pierre call Washington and London — QUICKLY !!!
President Obama upon being informed of the dire situation of the French chuckled and took a five minute break from his golf game to dispatch a troop of Cub Scouts from Hackensack , N.J. to deal with the problem. CNBC wonders if this incident will be part of the itinerary for the next installment of President Obama’s World Apology Tour?
Prime Minister David Cameron of The United Kingdom when informed of the French predicament invoked his right to indulge in the British National Custom as regards the French. He ignored them totally and completely as the British are wont to do.
President Hu JinTao of The People’s Republic Of China when asked for comment by the foreign press had the following comment. ” The Chinese National Goal is to construct a ” Harmonious Society “. We support that lofty goal for all nations of the world. We strongly urge all parties involved to convene a meeting at The United Nations for talks. “
If there is anybody more useless in these conflicts than the French it is the Chinese. Now you knew I wasn’t going to let you get away without making at least one editorial comment. lol
Not to worry readers the Cub Scouts will take care of the problem. France WILL be saved by the Americans YET AGAIN !!!!
Reporting Live from Paris , France for CNBC Marie Michelle Montcalme.
Please note that ABSOLUTELY ZERO Cub Scouts were harmed in the writing of this story. The Bedouin Battallions on the other hand were TERMINATED WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE !!
THAT will teach them to mess with The Cub Scouts From Da ‘ Hood.
Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake .