The New Black Panther Party Declares War ——- On France !!!

BULLETIN !!!! BULLETIN !!!!

Cracker Nation News Broadcasting

Dateline Philadelphia Pa. July 23 , 2010

The Minister of War for The New Black Panther Party Mr. Hakim ” Black Thunder ” O’Sullivan has just announced that The New Black Panther Party has declared war on France. When asked why The New Black Panther Party declared war on France ” Black Thunder ” er er Mr. O ‘ Sullivan replied thusly. ” We need money to finance our operations against our true enemy  The Mighty Cracker Nation of America. We figured that those French Crackas would surrender quickly and pay us reparations rather than have Popeye’s Fried Chicken joints springing up all over Paris. We’re ready to rumble with those French Crackas on their own surrender fields.”  They are also not nearly as tough as The Girl Scouts of America.”

Oh WAIT !! That’s a Florida Panther

MY BAD !!! LOL

When reached in Paris by CNBC for a comment the French defense minister Madame Louise Marie Ducharme said the following ” We surrender unconditionally.Would you nice Panther gentlemen like some cafe and a croissant as you march down the Champs Elysse?” Psst Jean Phillipe call Washington. Toute suite !!!

I find myself in a bit of a quandry over this situation. I might actually have to root for the French. The HORRORS !! Yes Yes I know that was an editorial comment. lol

“

Reporting live from Philadelphia ,  Pa.  for  C.N.B.C. Kristianne Marie Andipour

Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL overcome !!!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!

Inspiration for this story came from Cracker Jodi Klyman

Keep on Crackering Cracker Jodi.

There Are None So Bland As Those That Will Not Be

Spaced Teacher’s Adventures In The Middle Cosmos

 

This woman is a ” Sister Of The Jardeen Rose” They are the sworn enemy of the HaNazee

There Are None So Bland As Those That Will Not Be

By Spaced Teacher

 

My first year in China I was working at a university near the Provincial Capital of a Central Chinese Province. This university was famous for  having the most foreign teachers of any university in China. To the best of my knowledge that is still true. They were also famous for being the lowest paid university  for foreigners in China. I did not know that at the time. I knew little of China of any substantive practical use.The vast majority of these teachers were Americans from all over the country.

Of the 95 teachers probably 80 were American. We also had teachers from Japan , S. Korea , Germany , England , Ireland , South Africa and France. It was a very interesting faculty.

Every year this university would have their Culture Day Festivities in Oct. The purpose of Culture Day was to expose these students most of whom were from the countryside and many of whom had never even seen a foreigner before to the various cultures of the countries of the faculty’s origins. There was going to be food , music  , dance , art , fashion , movies and virtually all aspects of the various cultures concerned. Also as Americans since we were the vast majority we were to also present our individual state’s cultures. Although I was chronologically advanced I was by Chinese experience standards very young. I actually thought this would be great fun and was looking forward to it. I couldn’t understand why some of the more experienced teachers were dreading it. After about a month of preparation Culture Day had arrived.

My personal assignment was to be one of The Clanton Gang in a re-enactment of The Shootout At The O.K. Corral. This university had a section of the campus that was designed to look like a European , probably Southern Italian  , city square. That is where the re-enactment took place. The first performance took place in the afternoon just as classes let out and the students were walking back to their dorms. None of the students knew what we were going to do. Picture twelve ” cowboys ” walking around a Chinese university campus made to look like an Italian town square. Needless to say these Chinese students were a bit confused. LoL The guns we were wearing in particular caught their attention. They didn’t know quite what to think. All of a sudden the guns started firing , the cowboys were screaming at each other people were ” dying ” in the street. All activity in that square came to a screeching halt. Abject looks of horror and terror and more than a bit of fright were etched on these students faces. After about five minutes when ” The Gunfight At The O.K. Corral ” was over all the ” dead ” cowboys rose and we all took a bow. It took a minute but the students finally realized what they had seen. We got a standing ovation.

That evening I went to see some of the other exhibits. I saw a demo of Western Swing Dancing by two very talented young people from the West of America. I saw a very nice photo exhibit of Tokyo architecture. I ate some Korean food. It was a very enjoyable evening. All the faculty had done a first rate job putting together a classy week for these kids.

The next morning in class I asked my students if they had seen ” The Shootout At The O.K. Corral “. Much to my amazement not a single one had. I asked if any of them had seen any of the other exhibits. Again to my amazement not a single one had bothered to see any exhibit. I was a bit pissed considering all the FREE time and effort we had put in to make this exciting for these kids but I figured since it was the first night of seven and maybe they were tired or had other plans I’d let it go. I went out that evening and saw more of the exhibits and had another wonderful time. I also kept an eye out for my students. Not a one anywhere I went.

I went in the next morning and asked them again if any of them had seen any of the exhibits. Again not a one. I was getting pissed. Why I asked? We are not interested they answered in unison. My tone changed dramatically as I instructed them why they needed to participate in Culture Day and how much fun they’d have. I also explained to them why it was rude on their part not to take advantage of this opportunity considering all the free time and effort their teachers had put in to make sure they had fun and learned something.. I told them I expected to start seeing them every night for the rest of the festival. Again that night I saw none of them. Again they just didn’t bother. I went to class the third day and informed them that it was now their homework assignment to go see one exhibit of their choosing every night for the rest of the festival and be prepared to speak about it in English in class. Begrudgingly about 10 % complied. The rest ignored me as usual. The rest failed the class miserably as they so richly deserved.

I was very pissed about their lack of courtesy and arrogance and let it be known to all concerned , them , the Administration , and my colleagues. One of the more senior of my colleagues took me aside one day and explained to me that the reason they wouldn’t participate was because they were afraid. I thought that assessment was bullshit then and I think so now.

Fast forward 4 years. I am now at a private school in the N.E. of China a whole lot smarter about China and Chinese culture. Being ever the optimist I figured I would at least give them the chance to be exposed to American culture. Again the same reaction. I had university level students ranging in age from 16  to 28 tell me with a straight face that they were not interested in going to  horseback riding , boating , hiking , bowling  or having a pic nic because they were afraid. Those things are dangerous was the general theme. Being older and wiser and having run into this phenomenon everywhere I had been in China I ignored my impulses to do anything of a fun or cultural nature with 95% of all my students from that point on.

Friends if you ever do decide to come to China and teach be prepared to hear the following from your students ” We want to learn about culture.” Do not fall for it. They do not want to learn about culture. The HaNazees in charge of the education system in China have taught them to say that. The reasoning is that it makes them look sophisticated and intelligent in front of the lao wai / foreigners. It never occurs to them that you must talk the talk and walk the walk. It doesn’t take the lao wai / foreigners long to figure out that they have no interest in walking the walk.

You will be told that the reason they don’t participate in cultural things is that they are afraid. Do not fall for this either. The real reason is based in arrogance , stubbornness and laziness. If it’s not Chinese culture they are not interested. If it requires a bit of work and participation on their part they are also not interested.

I find it very sad that in this day and age when China is opening up to the world the vast majority of Chinese students choose to beat themselves both culturally and academically before they even play the game. Sad indeed.

I can tell you based upon vast personal experience that Chinese university students are the most boring people on the face of the planet. Avoid socializing with them at all costs if you want to keep your sanity.

“The Adventures Of Spaced Teacher In The Middle Cosmos { China }” are a collection of short stories based upon my actual experiences.They are written from the point of view of an American ” lao wai” { foreigner}. As is the case with all of humanity’s gardens there are flowers AND weeds.The Chinese garden is no different in that regard , they have flowers in the form of the Jardeen Roses and Jasmine and crabgrass in the form of the HaNazees. I try to weed the crabgrass while focusing on and accentuating the Jardeen Rose and Jasmine .

I have taken only the barest minimum of poetic license in an effort to make these stories more enjoyable to read for you. Trust me when I tell you it happened 99 % exactly as I tell it. All names have been fictionalized to protect the guilty from legal action be that civil or criminal and to protect the innocent from the guilty and most importantly to protect the author , yours truly , from the crabgrass in the Chinese garden. Those HaNazee can be vicious bastards!! lol

The HaNazee are well known for having an aversion to the spelling and grammar challenged among us. These guys are in the employ of the HaNazee.

All characters , plot lines , fictional places , and anything else even remotely associated with these stories is the intellectual property of Spaced Teacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used without the express written consent of the aforementioned Spaced one or Bea herself.

If You Go Carrying Pictures Of Chairman Mao

” Spaced Teacher’s Adventures In The Middle Cosmos “

“If You Go Carrying Pictures Of Chairman Mao # 1″

By Spaced Teacher

If you are one of those people that is foolish enough to believe the current politically correct view that China is going to rule the world soon I have good news for you.Don’t believe it!! It isn’t going to happen in your lifetime. I seriously doubt that China will ever rule the world. Assuming they do some day though it is at least 100 years in the future and realistically it’s probably 500 years in the future. When I ask my 20 year old Chinese students how long they think it will be the vast majority say 50 years. Now make no mistake it’s not that they couldn’t it’s that they won’t. I will explain below.

In The HaNazee Holy Book’s Ten Commandments there is one that states the following. As described below :

” Nothing Or NOBODY In All Of China { Jardeen} May Move Faster Than ” The Napping Panda Of Sichuan “.

Emeperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao who was the first HaNazee Emperor  of China was deathly afraid that if his people became too ambitious , efficient and educated they would revolt and toss him and his cronies out of the Palace.He would then need to get the one thing that all HaNazees , especially the men , fear the most. A real job. In The Dreaded Private Sector!!! He wasn’t about to let that happen!!To this day that attitude is still prevalent in China.

When I came to this university I was told that we would be moving into a brand new state of the art building which was specifically designed for the foreign staff and students. I arrived here in March , it is now June and we are still staying in the hotel they initially quartered us in. We are still hearing the move is iminent. LoL I have subsequently spoken to one of the Australian teachers who was here last year. He informed me that he was told that he would be moving into that complex last year. His advice was to not get too excited about it one way or the other.

The Napping Panda Of Sichuan is cutting some zzzzz’s. lol

About 5 weeks ago the hot water in this hotel stopped. Apparently the water boiler broke.It’s very hard for me to believe that The Information Age has reached China yet since everybody in a position of authority that we asked had very little information about this. All we were told was that they had to seek bids and that it would be fixed in about 10 days. Ten days came and went. We asked again. We were told it would be fixed in two to three weeks. Two – three weeks came and went . We asked again. This time we were told it was indefinite. Being rational well educated , if a bit ripe at this point , lao wai / foreigners we asked why. We were told that they were having the necessary equipment shipped in. My guess is that first they have to make it then ship it. I further postulate that since shipping by air is a bit tai guela / expensive and they wish to save some money they are shipping it via donkey cart. We are now at six weeks and counting. Meiyou / zero hot water boiler and about twenty very ripe lao wai / foreigners. There is no end in site. Apparently The Nappping Panda of Sichuan is taking a prolonged snooze this time.

The thing that really amazes me about this whole situation is that the Chinse people just accept it.This hotel is one of the more expensive hotels in this town. It costs about $ 18.00 / 150 R.M.B. a night to stay here. Now by American standards that is not a lot of money but trust me when I tell you that is a significant amount of money by Chinese standards. The way the hotel has handled this is by giving each Chinese guest a 2 RMB / 25 cent token for the public bath. The lao wai / foreigners get nothing. Apparently we are on our own in this matter. To date I have not noticed a drop in the hotel’s occupancy rates or any complaining by the Chinese guests. I find that very curious indeed. I also think it’s another part of the reason that they will never rule the world. As long as you are willing to accept only what the leaders  give you then development will continue to be excruciatingly slow. Can you imagine the reaction of American / Western guests at a comparable 4 star hotel in America or Europe to this situation? I’m reminded of the old saying about the Communists. I think it’s very applicable to this situation. ” If the Communists managed the desert there would be a shortage of sand.”

The Napping Panda of Sichuan is cutting some zzzz’s

P.S. : You may want to stay out of this town for the foreseeable future. There are many very ripe lao wai / foreigners here. It’s not pretty.

If you wish to read ” If You Go Carrying Pictures Of Chairman Mao # 2 “   just click the link.

If you wish to read ” If You Go Carrying Pictures of Chairman Mao # 3 “  just click the link.

“The Adventures Of Spacedteacher In The Middle Cosmos { China }” are a collection of short stories based upon my actual experiences.They are written from the point of view of an American ” lao wai” { foreigner}. As is the case with all of humanity’s gardens there are flowers AND weeds.The Chinese garden is no different in that regard , they have flowers in the form of the Jardeen Roses and Jasmine and crabgrass in the form of the HaNazees. I try to weed the crabgrass while focusing on and accentuating the Jardeen Rose and Jasmine .

I have taken only the barest minimum of poetic license in an effort to make these stories more enjoyable to read for you. Trust me when I tell you it happened 99 % exactly as I tell it. All names have been fictionalized to protect the guilty from legal action be that civil or criminal and to protect the innocent from the guilty and most importantly to protect the author , yours truly , from the crabgrass in the Chinese garden. Those HaNazee can be vicious bastards!! lol

The HaNazee are well known for having an aversion to the spelling and grammar challenged among us. These guys are in the employ of the HaNazee.

All characters , plot lines , fictional places , and anything else even remotely associated with these stories is the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used without the express written consent of the aforementioned Spaced one or Bea herself.

The Cracker Salute

Dear Fellow Crackers :

CNBC thinks that it’s time that we had our own Cracker handshake  / greeting / salute.  The Brothas have their own 37 gyration and 22 twists handshake. Crackers have their own also. It’s a very simple yet effective greeting. As follows : L hand just below left cheek , forefinger and thumb in the shape of a C , remaining three fingers sticking straight up ,a cracker of any variety in R hand when possible , a big smile on your face and a warm hello in your heart.

CNBC suggests that the next time a Brotha or Sista gives you the 37  Gyrations and 22 twists you just simply confuse them by doing the elegant and understated Cracker greeting as described above. I’m sure that the Brothas and Sistas will be confounded at  first but in no time they’ll see the humor.

Cracker Culture NOW and forever. Flour to the Crackers !!!

We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your salute Crackers.

P.S. :  Brothas and Sistas please forgive me for my good natured humor towards you guys. The Cracker Devil made me do it.