Cordoba Center Terrorist Attackers Identified


Dateline June 29  Homeland Internal Security Dept. Area 63 Cracker Nation Somewhere , U.S.A

General Mei Leize The Director of  The Homeland Internal Security Dept. has announced that the perpetrators of the recent attack on The Cordoba Center / Islamic Mosque in New York City have been identified thanks to
the excellent work of  Major Dee Mentia the Leader of The Honey Pies who are Cracker Nation’s all female anti terrorism SWAT team.  Field Intelligence  obtained by The Honey Pies as relates this  patriotic  group indicates that  they  are an as yet small but soon to be expectedly huge , yet very effective group of anti – Islamic fighters  from Cracker Nation known formally as  Mohammed’s Curse  but affectionately known by their supporters as The Porky Pig Brigades , that operate in the shadows of  American law and always on the border of good comedic taste. P.C. is NOT considered relevant by the members of Mohammed’s Curse. H.I.S.D. Field Intelligence further indicates that the vast majority of the members are  devout Christians so consequently are precluded by their faith from acts of violence except in self defense. Their chosen tactics are humor and ridicule such as was on display in the attack on The Cordoba Center in N.Y.C.  The leadership of the group remains unknown at this time.

When asked by CNBC for a comment regarding this matter Gen. Mei Leize replied thusly. ” Some days it’s just so damn much fun to come to work. Thanks for the chuckles Porky’s Brigades. To my friends in Porky’s Brigades I’d like to suggest that the next time if you don’t want to get caught so fast it might be a good idea not to leave the empty pork rind bags laying around. Generally when you are committing a terrorist act it’s not a good time for the munchies.” Gen. Mei Leize continued her comments thusly. ” In the future do stay in touch with us Piglets. I look forward to working with you. We at H.I.S.D. appreciate your help and we see a Medal Of Freedom in your future justas soon as the Muslim Usurper is replaced by an American President. Good luck in your efforts.”

When Major Dee Mentia was asked for a comment on this matter by CNBC she commented as follows : ”  I most assuredly concur with Gen . Mei Leize’s statments and would further more  like to extend an invitation to the leadership of Mohammed’s Curse { Porky Pig Brigades } to please make contact with us so that we may share intelligence about our Dumbass Islamic ” Brothers and Sisters . “

CNBC expects that there will be more  ” terrorist ” attacks by Porky’s Brigades in due course. Stay tuned to CNBC for further details / chapters in this conflict as they emerge.

Reporting for CNBC from H.I.S.D. Area 63 Cracker Nation Somewhere , U.S.A. Brutus Porcine

Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!

Cracker Sightings In China


Dateline Qiqihar , Heilongjiang Province , P.R.C. { China }the Crackers you see below were all spotted last week in Qiqihar. Check out the salutes on these Crackers.

{ L } Rasta Mon from Ghana { R } Sammy from Canada

{ L + R } Edmund and Gideon London , England { C } Frank Canada

Frank Canada

Fred America { Hey dogs are Crackers too }

Katy China{ L } Katy China { R } Sammy Canada

Cordoba Center Islamic Mosque In N.Y.C. Suffers Terrorist Attack


Dateline New York City  Nov. 15 , 2011

The Cordoba Center in N.Y.C. is currently under attack by flying pigs.  Two Piper Cubs are making repeated passes over the Cordoba Center in N.Y.C. and are bombarding it with Jimmy Dean Breakfast Sausage Links to  cheers from all the N.Y.C. Crackers. The head Muslim In Chief has ordered the 7th Air Force Fighter Wing to shoot down the offending “terrorists.”  American pilots however are unable to answer the call due to the fact of their prolonged hysterical laughter

Stay tuned to CNBC for more details in this story as they emerge.

Reporting live from N.Y.C. for CNBC Connie Chung

Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!

Creme Brule Can Be Dangerous To Your Health OR The French Connection

The Great  Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater ,Tx.”

She’s beautiful , charming , sexy and DEADLY!!

She’s a Sugar Assassin.

“The French Connection”


“Creme Brule Can Be Dangerous To Your Health”

The first tangible evidence in the case emerged in 2004 in Paris ,France.A very famous and prestigious French Chef had recently opened a new dining restaurant to much critical acclaim. This gentleman owned four or five other restaurants that had all earned a ***** 5 star rating in the Michelin Restaurant guide. Taking his previous track records into account Michelin premiered his restaurant with a ***** 5 star rating. This was unprecedented!!! Business was good for about a month. Everything was going well in the eyes of the owner. The Michelin critics thought differently and dropped the rating to 3.5 stars in the next months issue. On the very day that the rating was dropped a very important influential French gentleman by the name of Jean Claude Phillipe had reservations for dinner.The French chef being distraught over his restaurant’s ratings drop did not have one of his better culinary efforts. Mssr. Phiilipe thought that considering the prices in this restaurant any less than “c’est magnifique” was not acceptable. He asked to speak to the chef. The chef being a temperamental culinary artiste and distraught over his misfortune refused. We ALL know how the French can be !!!
Mr. Phillipe excused himself from his table calmly walked into the kitchen and drowned the chef in a bowl of creme brule and then vanished. Nobody saw or heard a thing. This crime was committed in plain sight and hearing of about 250 of the restaurant’s patrons and yet there was not ONE SINGLE CLUE!! No one saw a thing!!

Except the FARTS.

The Farts are the French Armed Resistance to Traffickers of Sugar. They are a quasi governmental French agency that operates in the shadows right on the edge of French law. They are very effective. The Sugar Assassins FEAR the FARTS.{What the Hell is the matter with the French. Didn’t somebody realize that this was a horrible acronym? Oh well c’est la vie I guess} The FARTS had intelligence that a Sugar Assassin was operating in the Paris area so they were on their guard. As luck would have it there was a FART agent having dinner in that restaurant that very night. The whole incident happened so quickly that he was not able to apprehend Mssr. Phillipe or get a picture but he knew the REAL story. He notified the SAPS and ever since they and us have been cooperating on this case . Also there was one piece of evidence at the scene which everybody dismissed out of hand EXCEPT Lt. Pierre Cartier , the lead FART investigator who found this evidence very interesting.That was an advertisement for a French lingerie store. EVERYBODY else thought it was coincidence that it was there at the scene of the crime. They ALL reasoned that it must have just fallen out of the pockets of one of the female staff. Lt. Cartier thought differently. He had his suspicions.

The French news papers reported the whole incident as a distraught chef committing suicide over having his Michelin Restaurant guide rating dropped.

The real story is that Mr. Phillipe was a Sugar Assassin of the vile , insipid , evil Havana Sugar Cartel who was sent to Paris to assassinate the chef because the chef refused to use Havana sugar in his restaurant’s recipes. He insisted on using the rival cartel , the Bogota Association of Sugar Traffickers Allied for Ruinous Destruction A.K.A. the BASTARDS, products. Havana was PISSED!!
What we have here ladies and gentlemen is a turf war amongst all the various affiliated groups within the vile , evil nefarious Havana Sugar Cartel.

To date we have not been able to obtain a picture of him but we have been able to discover his true identity which is Ricardo Edrigo Perez. His Sugar Assassin call name is “Sweet Boy”
If you should happen to see this gentleman be aware that he is armed and EXTREMELY dangerous. He probably has 10-12 highly charged Three Musketeers on his person at all times. Give him a wide berth. Avoid him at all costs. Call the SAPS immediately!!
As usual if you have any information regarding this or any other crimes perpetrated by the vile, insipid , evil Havana Sugar Cartel or any of it’s affiliated groups or any individual Sugar Assassin notify the SAPS immediately.

As always — REMAIN phoneVIGILANT!!!camera The BASTARDS are everywhere.

Major Dee Mentia
Lead Investigator : {T.G.S.A.C.S.T.}
Area 61 SAP HQ
Maple Sugar Country
Cracker Nation U.S.A.

By Spaced Teacher

” The Great  Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Texas ” and all characters ,places,plot lines , mythology or ANYTHING else even REMOTLEY associated with it are the intellectual property of Spaced Teacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used for ANY purposes without the express written permission of Spaced Teacher.
“The Great  Sugar Assassination Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx.” while OBVIOUSLY the victim of a great deal of literary license by the author is based on true events. This actually happened to a diabetic friend of mine. To the best of my knowledge he never did resolve the mystery. This was cause for great concern for him. The names have been fictionalized to insure the guilty from liability be that criminal or civil AND to protect the author,ME against a Sugar Assassination attempt. That damn Havana Sugar Cartel is VICIOUS!!!!

FLOTUS{ First Lady Of The United States } Targeted By Assassins?


Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The OTHER CNBC

Dateline : Cracker Nation Department Of Internal Security Area 63  August 16 , 2010

General Mei Leize , the Director of the Cracker Nation Department of Internal Security, has just announced that FLOTUS is being targeted by Sugar Assassins of the vile insipid nefarious Havana Sugar Cartel and their affiliated terrorist groups. In a statement released to the press Gen Mei Leize referred to the following threat received by C.N. D.I.S. earlier today. As follows below :

“All you imperialist dogs of Cracker Nation be advised that we have issued a bounty on the head of  FLOTUS. Do not think we are so stupid as to believe the  propaganda you feed your own people about FLOTUS’s school lunch  healthy eating programs being ” for the kids ” health. We know that this is a declaration of war against The Havana Sugar Cartel and our Comrades In Arms against the domination of the world by America. Rest assured Amigos FLOTUS is toast. You may find her someday suffocated in a dish of strawberry shortcake or peach melba , or you may find her ” choked  to death  ” on some Resse’s Pieces or M + M’s . Nobody knows exactly how or when we will take our revenge but rest assured we will take it and you will find her in some unpleasant circumstances. You can run  dogs but you can’t hide. The Sugar Assassins are coming for you.”  Diego ” Sandy ” Pecan

General Mei Leize has instructed the Cracker Nation Terrorist Warning Level to be raised to Yellow which is also known as The Lemon Merengue Pie Alert and is the fourth of five step levels and designates the second highest level of Alert. Gen. Mei Leize also authorized Major Dee Mentia the Lead Investigator of The Great Sugar Assassin Caper of Sweetwater Tx. and the Commanding Officer of  The Honey Pies to

take  down the Havana Sugar Cartel at her will and with any force necessary. In her final comments regarding this matter General Mei Leize said the following :

” My Dear fellow Cracker Nation Citizens please rest assured that FLOTUS is under the 24 hour a day protection of the Honey Pies and is in absolutely no danger. You can rest assured that every member of the Honey Pies will protect FLOTUS with their lives. As for you Havana Sugar Cartel members say your prayers your time is very limited. The Honey Pies are coming for you.”

” As always my fellow citizens remain vigilant!! The BASTARDS are everywhere !!! Considering that we now know that there is a Sugar Assassin operating in the Florida Pan Handle region you may want to think twice before you have that piece of apple pie or carrot cake when you  go out to dinner tonight.

To see the other chapters in this saga of human struggle please click here and here.

Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now  go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!

Back With The Son

Back With The Son

By Paul Stanner

Satan’s song so seductive

So alluring and thrilling

Satan’s promise so fulfilling

He was willing

He took his chance

He bartered his pact

He joined the dance

Became part of the act

The flag unfurled

The oath was sworn

Now a citizen of Satan’s world

His covenant shorn

Satan’s enchanting lies

Thought so profound

Blinded his eyes

And now he was  bound

Mercy’s Child saw his plight

Heard his plea

Reached down with Heaven’s might

Broke the chains and set him free

His child now bought

Hope restored

He prays thanks for what has been wrought

Glory to the Lord

Amazing Grace he’s seen his face

Heard his voice made his choice

He’s back with the Son

His victory has been  won


”  Back With The Son ” is the intellectual property of Paul Stanner A.K.A. Spaced Teacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Ent. and may not be used without express written consent of  Paul Stanner.

The Obama Fables : The Commie And The Catholic

Dear Readers :

Please be advised that this column was originally written and posted on July 9 , 2009. We thought in view of all that is going on in the world today it deserved another read. We hope you enjoy it.

Paul Stanner

The Commie And The Catholic.{ The Obama Fables }

Dear Readers :

Brought to you at the speed of lies as a public service The Anne Fanner Show is pleased to announce a new feature in our show : ” The Obama Fables ” We here at the Anne Fanner show think this will prove to be a very popular segment. We invite your participation.

I will now offer a clue to our intellectually challenged Dumbass / Liberon / Democrat readers. There must be one or two brave ones out there. lol The sections that are highlighted in orange are ” The Obama Fables “. I hope that will help our friends on the left with their comprehension of the cyber conversation.

And now without further ado our debut ” Obama Fable “


US President Barack Obama’s talks with Pope Benedict XVI will be “frank” but constructive in areas of disagreement such as abortion, the White House said Wednesday. “I think there will be a frank discussion,” White House spokesman said aboard Air Force One en route to where Obama is attending the of Eight summit that opened Wednesday.

Obama and the pope are to meet Friday after the summit.

“There’s a lot that they agree on that they’ll get a chance to discuss,” Gibbs said. “We know the pope has been keenly aware of the president’s outreach to the Muslim world (and) the pope shares the president’s view on reducing the number of nuclear weapons.”

On subjects such as abortion, “even if we don’t see eye to eye on everything, there are steps that can be taken on a number of issues that will show progress, whether it’s on something like unintended pregnancy or adoption,” he said.

Pope Benedict, 82, is “somebody that gets to see a lot of the world, and I think getting his continued support for these efforts is obviously important,” Gibbs said.

Obama, a committed Christian, gave a controversial commencement address in May at one of the top Catholic universities in the  while hundreds of activists outside denounced his appearance.

The US leader, while acknowledging that “at some level, the views of the two camps are irreconcilable,” said he sought “common ground.”

Americans must find a way to “remain firm in our principles, and fight for what we consider right, without demonising those with just as strongly held convictions on the other side,” he told Notre Dame’s graduating class.

After taking office in January, Obama ended his predecessor George W. Bush’s restrictions on government funding for embryonic stem cell research and for family planning groups that carry out or facilitate abortions overseas.

Where Are The Singing Crackers

Dear Readers :

Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The OTHER CNBC is pleased to introduce a new commentary writer to you. Her name is Cracker Paula. I find her very passionate and articulate. I think you will also.  Cracker Paula’s first official commentary for CNBC is below. We hope you will enjoy it.

Warmest regards

Paul Stanner

Where Are The Singing Crackers?

by Cracker Paula

One morning long ago in 2001, I was sleeping in my Cracker apartment when my phone woke me up. On the other end of the line was my son. Now my son is all grown up and a Cracker man through and through. I asked him why on earth he was calling me at such an unearthly hour I believe it was 9:30 a.m. He told me to get myself to the nearest tv set. I asked him why. He said something big had happened and for me just to turn on my tv. He said it was the biggest news story of his lifetime, even bigger than the exploding of Challenger. Right then I knew it was serious. It was.

I turned my tv on to find that , in the immortal words of George W. Bush, Crackerland was under attack. Not only was it a bigger story than the Challenger, I knew it was as big a story as Pearl Harbor. I had spent many hours listening to my Cracker parents discuss the latter event , often with their Cracker friends. Someone would say, “ Now on Dec. 7, 1941, I was…” Then they would tell what they had been doing and where they were and who told them, and what they did. My older Cracker uncles all joined the Army the next morning. I trust many of you Baby Boomer Crackers remember similar stories, told on the porch by our Cracker Mothers and their friends while snapping green beans, or by our Cracker Daddies and his friends while they were running trot lines or sitting in the yard drinking beer on Sunday afternoon.

When Pearl Harbor happened, it was obvious who the perpetrators of the attack were, because the small airplanes used that day all had the symbol of the Rising Sun painted on them  and there were hundreds of them. The large airplanes used on September 11 had the logos of American Airlines and United Airlines and there were only four of them. It did not take long for us to find out who had controlled those four airplanes used to kill so many of our Cracker brethren.

We know who did it and we know why they did it, and we know that given a chance, they will do it again. We also know that they represent of larger subset of people , who because of their religion, hate all us Crackers.

Their religion seems to have motivated the destruction of those four airplanes and whatever was in their path, as well as those whose misfortune it was to be flying on those planes. Now we learn that adherents to this same religion want to put a big landmark at the scene of the worst destruction.

Recently I called on members of the Clergy to rally behind the cause of the Cracker Nation. The Communion Wafers represent the best of us. Now I would like to call on a different element, some might think them the worst of us, to rally to the Cracker Cause.

Long ago, Crackers from Italy came to Crackerland and for what ever reasons began to exploit other Crackers. Up in New York City, five families of Italian Crackers soon had control of many aspects of the lives of all the other Crackers. They controlled who baked the Crackers, where the flour came from, and who hauled the Crackers around, as well as the construction of the Cracker factories themselves. Those folks are still around and still exert a lot of influence .

The enemies of Crackerland now want to build a huge Community Center called the “Cordoba House Project”. up in New York City. Cordoba House? Yes, this is a reference to how pissed off they still are that some of our Cracker Ancestors kicked them out of Cordoba, Spain several hundred years ago. These people can’t just accept defeat. They are trying to drag the memory of their past losses into the present as if somehow, we modern day Crackers had something to do with that whole business. We did not. Moreover, these people think if they build a “Cordoba House“, it will represent their presumed victory over us on September 11, 2001. We Crackers cannot let this happen.

To that end I call on the Cracker families and associates of those Italian Crackers who live in New York City to stand up , climb out of the tossed salad that you have so long enjoyed and do something meaningful for Crackerland, the nation that has allowed you to arise to prosperity where you have slathered yourself in only the finest butters , jams and spreads. These Cracker families are descended from the Cracker Patriarchs Genovese, Gambino and Lucchese, and to a somewhat lesser extent, Bonanno and Columbo. You Crackers still control who builds what in New York City. You still control the trucks and jackhammers in Manhattan, the neighborhood where our enemies are trying to perpetrate this insult on us all. Your families enjoyed great respect in your communities until some Blue Blood Cracker named Robert Kennedy came along and crumbled your assets. This is your golden opportunity to set things right and bake a legacy for the future.

For those of you who don’t like these Soprano singing Crackers, I say this: Better a Cracker you know than an enemy who wants to lop off your heads with a dull sword.

As always CNBC invites your comments on the above column.

The Flaming Infidel : Where Pyromania And Sodomania Come Together


Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The OTHER CNBC

Dateline New York City  August 9 , 2010

Reliable CNBC sources within the entertainment industry inform us that the Cordoba Center / Islamic Mosque located at Ground Zero in N.Y.C. is sparking a buzz of potential business activity from folks trying to cash in on and copy for their own particular styles the unique business models of Kinky Friedman and Snoop Dog. It seems that the next blast from the past act to try and cash in on our Muslim friend’s stupidity is ” The Village People ” .  The sexually confused dynamo from the past are said to be opening a nightclub very close to the Cordoba Center called ” The Flaming Infidel ” They will also be reforming in order to become the house band. Their house theme song will of course be ” Y.M.C.A. “

Grand Poohbah Achmed Abdul Aziz Ibn Bin Salazar the Spiritual Advisor and Military Leader of The Safalist Avengers when asked for a comment about this turn of events by CNBC replied thusly : ” If you Flaming Infidels proceed with your plans to insult Islam in this manner Allah will banish you to Provincetown  for eternity.You will burn in eternity infidel. Why did you people have to ruin the rainbow for everybody?”


I think that Ground Zero is going to be a very interesting place in the immediate future. Kinky’s ” Welcome To The Neighborhood Cordoba Center Friday Night Rockin’ With Allah Concert And Pig Roast ” is going to turn into THE place to see and be seen in N.Y.C. in my opinion.I also think I’m glad I’m not a N.Y.C.  E.M.T.   Pyromania coming together with sodomania could get very messy. !! lol

Stay tuned to CNBC for more developments in this story as they emerge.

Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!

Mo’s Palace Of The Heavenly Virgins


Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The OTHER CNBC

Dateline New York City August 12 , 2010

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       CNBC Entertainment news has another huge scoop to tell you about today. Snoop Dog will announce soon that he is opening a ” Gentleman’s Club ” near the Cordoba Center / Islamic Mosque at Ground Zero in N.Y.C. When asked by CNBC for a comment regarding his latest venture Mr. Dogg replied thusly. ” When my Cracka Brotha Kinky Friedman decided to open his pork restaurant and hold his concerts it made me realize that the Cracka Brotha was onto something. I started to think about how I could cash in on my  Cracka Brother’s idea. Then it occurred to me that those Crackas are going to be all wound up after a good meal and concert and would want to continue the night. Hell I may be a Brotha and a Rap Gangsta but I’m not stupid. The Cracka Brothers are going to want to look at the ladies. Even Cracka money is green.”

Our sources report that Mr. Dogg and Kinky are in negotiations on a cooperative arrangement where they both can make money off this. One preliminary idea that has been floated is a Burqa Lap Dance at Kinky’s ” Welcome To The Neighborhood Cordoba Center Friday Night Rockin’ With Allah Concerts And Pig Roast.” For a donation of ten dollars to the 911 Survivors Fund you can get a Burqa Lap Dance from one of Mo’s Girls. Admit it now you’ve ALWAYS wondered what’s behind that Burqa!!

There are other ideas  being discussed.

CNBC thinks this business venture of Mr. Dogg’s is an excellent idea. WoW!!!! Kinky Friedman and Snoop Doog now there are two names you don’t hear in the same sentence often. Tell the truth now haven’t you always wondered what’s behind that Burqa? Yes yes I know editorial comments all. We’ve been through this before. It’s MY blog so I can say whatever the Hell I want.

Stay tuned to CNBC for further details in ” The Adventures of Kinky And Snoop ” as they emerge.

Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!

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