Kenyan Camelot
August 6, 2010 9 Comments
Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The OTHER CNBC is pleased to announce a new feature in our programming line-up. Today begins our occaisonal Movie Review feature.
” Kenyan Camelot “
Directed by Oliver North oooppppsss I meant Oliver Stone.
Produced by Clarence ” Trashmouth ” Hankins
Music by 50 Cent
Starring :
Barry Soetero as J.F.K.
Michelle Obama as Jackie
Nancy Pelosi as Rose Kennedy
Harry Reid as Joe Kennedy Sr.
Reverend Jessie ” Hymie Town ” Jackson as Bobby Kennedy
” Calypso ” Louis Farrakhan as Ted Kennedy
Reverend Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton as Jimmy Hoffa
Jackie Gleason as Nikita Kruschev
Sean Penn as Fidel Castro
Lady Gaga as Marilyn Monroe
The U.S.S. Minnow as P.T. 103
Bob ” Gilligan ” Denver as J.F.K. { P.T.103 Skipper }
The General Lee as The Cursed Chappaquidick Chariot
In various supporting roles :
Rep. Maxine “Troubled ” Waters
Rep. John Lewis
The Congressional Black Caucus
La Raza
Rep. Barney ” The Banking Queen ” Frank
And a supporting cast of 535 Morons.
” Kenyan Camelot ” is the story of a poor nondescript not terribly bright Kenyan boy who immigrates to America from the Madrassas of Indonesia via Hawaii and parts unknown to masterfully execute the biggest fraud ever perpetrated against the American people by bringing them much sought Hope and Change with the help of his expert enablers. ” Kenyan Camelot ” further examines “The One’s ” life of luxury after stealing the highest office of his adopted land. Talk about Gypsies In The Palace lol. Yes yes I know editorial comment. I just can’t help myself.
” Kenyan Camelot ” is as I’m sure many of you suspect entirely the product of my twisted yet fertile sense of humor. For that reason we would like to invite our readers for suggestions as to whom you think would be better to star in this movie as well as fill the other concurrent roles involved with it’s production.
Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!
Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!
CNBC {Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp} 
OMG – I forgot about that REAL race-baiting total jerk, Cynthia (“Symfia”)!! Yes! She definitely has a place in the Kenyan Camelot Revue (downgraded to a cabaret-style “entertainment”)! My, she really does outdo both Sheila & Maxine in the “chutzpah” department….
Now that Andy Griffith has come out of a SECOND closet (this one political, although his buds knew he was a “flaming” Libtard from the get-go), maybe he should be cast in some sort of perverse “cracka” role (none come to mind at preset, but someone will figure it out…)/
And let’s not forget that turd Dhimmy Jimmy!! He may not be in the Kenyan portion of our little narrative, but he certainly has a place in the narrative – maybe as a secret lover (and father of her love child?) of that paragon of hypocritical virtue, Shirley Sherrod! Boy, at this point, with all those ladies of a certain age (and virtue…), we’re comin’ up to baseball team in numbers! (We’ve already passed the on-court size of a basketball team, so guess we’re now working on a ladies’ pigskin team…) And speaking of the 2nd worst POTUS in US history, remember, he was once a farmer (peanuts), too, but neither black nor poor. Wonder what Shirley – in all of her narrow vision, passing as “wisdom” – would have done for/to/with that infamous peanut farmer from GA had HE come runnin’, hat in hand, to the USDA…
Well, others will come to mind, I’m sure, but this is a start.
Dear Cracker Joy :
My goodness there is a lot on your mind today. You’ve certainly made some good choices. Are casting directors are keeping your suggestions in mind. I’m sure you’ll be seeing some of the stars you mentioned in upcoming Cracker Film Productions features.
Keep on Crackering Cracker
I can’t stop laughing. Sean Penn as Fidel Castro. HAHAHAHAHA Bawney Fwank. Lady Gaga as Marilyn Monroe (yeah, in her wildest dreams).
And don’t forget Maxine Waters and Symfia McKinney … they’ve got to have parts in there somewhere maybe as evil stepsisters. (oops, wrong movie …) … or maybe McKinney and Jimmah Carter as O’s parents …
“The REAL Nikita,” I presume, is Kruschev himself. But he’s dead. One of his most famous moments is when he banged his shoe on the podium at the UN many moons ago (not sure if Nixon was VP then or POTUS – but it was way back when…). But now that Maxine “Troubled” Waters is about to be taken down (a la Good Time Charlie Rangel), can’t think of a more appropriate “Queen” (she’s more imperious than a mere witch!) to rule the Black Raucous Caucus than Mz Big Shot, Sheila Jackson Lee (who used to actually rush over and hug or kiss or shake hands with Bush 43 when he marched into the House for the Annual SOTU message). And she always wore red so that she would stand our like the Red Queen that she is!! LOL….
Dear Cracker Joy :
I agree with you that Congresswoman Shirley Jackson Lee is indeed quite a talent. How we missed casting her in ” Kenyan Camelot ” will go down as one of the great mysteries of filmdom. Rest assured though that I have instructed our poweres that be to find a suitable cinematic vehicle to showcase ” The Black Witch’s ” talent.
Thanks for your input on this matter . It is greatly appreciated.
Keep on Crackering Cracker. lol
Cracka Joy, here – but i am bereft of ideas – you took them ALL!! What fun – and what a GREAT send-up!! If something funny/relevant manages to break into my cranium, I’ll respond asap. Meantime, congrats on a GREAT spoof! Will be sure to “spread the good news around…”
Dear Cracker Joy :
Any time I can leave a twisted comedic mind like your bereft of ideas I have to feel that I’m doing good work. Thank you so much for the nice compliments.
Please tell all of your friends and family about Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The Other CNBC. I can’t live on JUST Cracker crumbs.
Keep on Crackering Cracker.
PT 109. Since Gleason is dead and Kruschev is dead, why don’t we let the real Nikita have the role! And can’t we have Rahmbo in his tutu? And if you need another black witch, I’d like to nominate Congressman Shelia Jackson Lee of Houston.
Dear Cracker Paula :
You are a VERY funny Gyno Cracker. ” Rahmbo tutu” lol “Congressman Shelia Jackson Lee = Black witch” lol . I must confess though I have no idea who the REAL Nikita. Well O.K. I have a tad of a hint. I would like you to elucidate though.
Keep on Crackering Cracker