August 11, 2011 Leave a comment
August 10, 2011 2 Comments
BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!
Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. — The OTHER CNBC
Dateline : Helena Montana Aug. 6 , 2011
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen this is Luis ” The Mariachi ” Gonzalez reporting from the headquarters of The National Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association in Helena , Montana where Mr. William ” Wild Bill ” Stanley, President of The National Professional Rodeo Cowboy’s Association is about to make a statement. And now for Mr. Stanley’s statement.
” Friends , Cowboys and Cowgirls I’m pleased to make this announcement on behalf of the N.P.R.C.A. and in honor and support of the recent generous offer extended by the Rogues Gallery Of Ludicrous Litigants. We are pleased to tell you that we have reached agreement with the aforementioned group to offer Rodeo College at all of their historically Black Universities and Colleges. Our curriculum will consist of the various Cowboy Arts and will be taught by faculty approved by the N.P.R.C.A. This will be a full four year degree granting program focusing on future employment in the Rodeo industry and will be a very hands on experience. Our goal is to help our Melanin Enhanced Brothers and Sisters to attain gainful employment in our industry and to bring a little good old fashioned Cracker Culture and diversity to these historically culturally deprived Black Institutions Of Higher Learning. We are also pleased to be able to announce that twice a month the N.P.R.C.A. will be bringing free Rodeo Under The Stars and country music concerts to inner city neighborhoods countrywide. Our first Rodeo and concert will take place Labor Day week-end and will feature Asleep At The Wheel, Allen Jackson , and Charley Pride. Also be aware that The Rogues Gallery Of Ludicrous Litigants will not only be attending but will be active participants. We look forward to a mutually satisfying cultural and educational experience with our Melanin Enhanced friends. See you in the fall. Thank you for your time.”
Well CNBC can’t wait for this. Kudos to the N.P.R.C.A. for Cowboying up and answering the challenge. It should be great fun to see Rev. Jessie ” Hymie Town ” Jackson bronc busting , Rev. Al ” Tawana ” Sharpton bull riding. He’ll probably be good at that considering he’s slung so much bull over the years, and Rev. ” Calypso ” Louis Farrakhan and Morris ” Money Man ” Dees boogeying down to Asleep At The Wheel.
CNBC Hopes we see you there.
Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL BAKE !!
Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!
August 10, 2011 2 Comments
Dear Cracker Ladies and Gentlemen :
Honey Graham Productions the entertainment division of Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. is pleased to present a Queen Yes Dear production of ” The Goddess Of The Lake “. This is the story of the kind and gentle Goddess Of The Lake who entertains the local children in charming and enchanting ways. Queen Yes Dear guarantees that you will immensely enjoy this program. She encourages you to watch it with your children. The smiles and look of wonderment on their faces will add five years to your lives. I suggest that you watch this on as big a full screen as you can muster.
Please be aware that this story is 11 minutes long. It may appear during the course of the telling that it’s over but trust me let the video run the entire 11 minutes. Even a Goddess as omnipotent and mysterious as The Goddess Of The Lake needs to catch her breath a bit.
August 4, 2011 2 Comments