The Kracker Barrel Awards : The Tale Of Trayvon

Dear Readers :

While the management of The C.I.A. { Crackers In Action } believes that the fact that Mr. Paul Stanner is the most muti – talented Kracker in the Krackerverse is eminently obvious we do recognize that he is not the only talented Kracker in the Krackerverse so consequently we will feature what we feel are deserving efforts by our Kracker Brethern and Sisthren whenever their efforts strike us as worthy of a little recognition. The only reward these Krackers will get from this is a Cracker Salute and what little recognition exposure on this site brings. Hey hey Krackers I don’t want to hear your pissing and moaning we are living on Kracker Krumbs here !! Take the recognition such as it is and be happy.

Today we bring you a charming little ditty by a gentleman named Ratoo , ” The Tale Of Trayvon “. This contribution came to us via a comment on Paul Stanner’s article “ Another Trayvonning : Provo , Utah ” We think you’d all agree that Mr. Ratoo is a TwIStEd Kracker indeed and will fit in very nicely here.

The Tale Of Trayvon

By Ratoo

(to Funky Rap Beat)

Here is the Tale of Tough guy Trayvon

Thought he was gangster, but now he is gone

Someone Trayvoned his ass

Someone Trayvoned his ass

Drug dealing, watch stealing

Crime is what he did

Creepin round in the dark,

With tools and loot hid

Went to the store to buy Skittles and Tea

So if he was caught, he’d have de-ni-abil-ity

Jumping over fences, walking through the hood

Looking into windows, up to no good

(very brief silent pause)

Who will Trayvon his ass?

Who will Trayvon his ass?

Casing out a house, he met a guy named Zimmer-MAN

Thought he was a honky, but he were a badass Mexi-CAN

Trayvon talking tough, threw a couple blows,

Knocked him to the ground, broke his freakin nose.

Grabbed him by the head, pounding into the ground

Zimmer-MAN made his move, then there was a sound

(very brief silent pause)

He Trayvoned his ass

He Trayvoned his ass


Take then this lesson, learn it if you can

Do not mess around, with a badass Mexi-CAN

A badass Mexi-CAN

(very brief silent pause)

He will Trayvon your ass

He will Trayvon your ass

Final verse, spoken:

Run away punk: don’t make me Trayvon your ass.


All Rights Reserved

Equalizer Group, Inc., et al

5 Responses to The Kracker Barrel Awards : The Tale Of Trayvon

  1. Ratoo says:

    Also, sorry, but I hate the Klan and people of their ilk.

    • Paul Stanner says:

      Dear Ratto :

      So do I whether it happens to be the KKK , The Tan Klan A.K.A. LaRaza or the Black Klan A.K.A. The NAACP and others.

    • Ratoo says:

      Tupac and The Notorious B.I.G. was my funky soul brothers from another mother—or was it father? Who cares. Anyway, like Tupac, I am an artist; the Artist formerly known as Funkidelicus. I cannot be held to standards of decency like normal people. Art is art. I live and breathe art. I crap art, because I am an artist. I tell it the way it be. Because of that, some people in the hood now threatin me and trying to kill me. They wishing me dead. I will be a martyr like Tupac and The Notorious B.I.G. The world cannot tolerate an artist who tell the truth. He be, you be, they be, we be too funky for this world.

  2. Ratoo says:

    Thank you, Bro. You Da Man!

    • Paul Stanner says:

      Dear Ratto :
      You’re welcome although I must tell you I’m a bit confused. Here you say thanks and on my site you insult me. What are you smoking? lol

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