A Cracker Answers Clotus’s Call .


Dear Cracker Friends :

The testimony below came to me from Cracker Paula Ralaford Davis and was written in it’s entirety by her. Kudos to you Cracker Paula for a very well written and passionate reply to CLOTUS’s call. I’m sure he’ll hear about your comittment to Cracker Nation.

CLOTUS, your call for a march has caused me to contemplate my own Crackerness. Although I am only a plain, low salt, saltine, I come by it honestly. My grandparents were sho’ ’nuff Crackers, down on a plantation outside of Clarksdale, MS. They sharecropped for an uppity Cracker master named Johnson. At some point, they got sick of it and took their little Crackers, their Cracker selves and all their Cracker possessions and went to Arkansas and eventually bought 40 acres of land. I don’t think anyone gave them 40 acres and a mule, cuz they were just Crackers, and you know, ain’t no body gonna give a Cracker shit, ‘ceptin for a hard time. I have seen that 40 acres. I have seen it in cotton, soybeans and corn. When Grandma Cracker finally died, the crumbs were divided up and that was that. I guess Grandma knew she was a Cracker, but all her little Crackers were pretty uppity and longed to live in a better Cracker box. The result is that almost all the Cracker grandchildren have gone to college. Most of them do not even acknowledge their Cracker heritage.

Crackers have always had a tough time of it because we have never been a protected product. We have had to work and sweat for every grain of precious flour. Because of that, we have to stand together now to help our Cracker kinsmen in Arizona. If we don’t, soon there will be no Cracker heritage left in this nation of ours. I know that my Cracker ancestors would be proud to march right along side us. They would insist that we not be half-baked, but have a message that is clear and crisp. At this time, I want to send out a special appeal to our Cracker brethren in the clergy, the Communion Wafers to take up the struggle. If God is for us, who can be against us!

See you in Arizona Crackers.

CLOTUS Calls For One Million Cracker March On Phoenix !!


BREAKING NEWS !!!! BREAKING NEWS !!!!

Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. —- The OTHER CNBC

Dateline : The Blue House , Cracker Nation Capital of Keeblerville , Cracker Riveria — Coastal Carolina July 29 , 2010

CLOTUS { Cracker Leader Of The United States } Mr. Matt ” The Big Biscuit ” Morgan has called for a  “One Million Cracker March To Phoenix ” in support of our Cracker Brother’s and Sister’s struggles in the great Cracker State of Arizona. When asked for a comment by CNBC CLOTUS repleid thusly : ” My Fellow Citizens of Cracker Nation today due to the unlawful and unjust actions of one solitary activist judge in Arizona the nation is in peril. I call on ALL Crackers of the Nation to rally to your brothers and sisters defense. I want to see Arizona flooded with Honey Grahams , Saltines , Chocolate , Oyster , Burnt , Goldfish and all the various types of Crackers in the Nation. I  want the powers that be in this world to see that Cracker Nation is unified and defiant. See you in Phoenix my fellow citizens. What are you waiting for? I said NOW !!! “

Reporting from The Blue House for CNBC Melissa Graham

Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!

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