Calling ALL Crackers.


Dear  Cracker Friends :

Please be advised that Cracker Nation welcomes Crackers of all types. You may feel feel free to encourage all of your Cracker friends and family to apply for citizenship.If they are quality Crackers they will be invited to become a citizen of Cracker Nation. Should they be blessed with such a wondrous new direction in their lives please tell them that when they arrive in Cracker Nation they are  to report IMMEDIATELY to the local Cracker Barrel restaurant for their swearing in ceremony. At the conclusion of this ceremony please walk towards the light and cheese nips where a reception in honor of our new citizens will be held with CLOTUS { Cracker Leader Of The United States } and many other dignitaries of Cracker Nation as well as some of their new fellow citizens. Pass the onion dip please.

 

 

For those Crackers out there that STILL have not jumped in the Cracker Barrel I’d like to invite you to read Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. — the other CNBC and the affiliated blog of Cracker Nation , Cracker Intelligence Agency , The American Cracker Lovers Union — The OTHER A.C.L.U. and The White Panthers which are all Cracker related groups here at Facebook that you should check out. Cracker News Broadcasting Network is read by Matt ” The Big Biscuit ” Morgan the Leader of Cracker Nation and the leaders of the above mentioned groups,. Go ahead — ask them.

Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake. !!!

 

 

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers.

 

 

The C.I.A.’ s Theory On The Da Ray Clements Murder Case.


The Rye Krisp In Charge Strikes Back


Breaking News !!!  Breaking News !!! CNBC {  Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp  }

The Cracker counter attack against the hateful tirade launched by the Cute Brown Kittens A.K.A.  The New Black Panther Party against the members of the Cracker Nation appears to be having a strong effect. The Rye Krisp In Charge has just nationalized The Gold Medal and Pillsbury Flour Companies. When asked to comment on this turn of events the Rye Krisp In Charge had this to say . ” It’s all George Bush’s fault . If he had kept those  nasty capitalist cupcake bakers in check none of this would have happened.”  When asked for a rebuttal to  the Rye Krisp In Charge’s comments Mr. Matt ” The Big Biscuit ”  Morgan the leader of the  Cracker Nation replied in this fashion. ” Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake. To the ovens Crackers !!”

Beloved American icons such as Sara Lee , Mrs. Fields , Famous Amos , and Aunt Jemima have gone into hiding for fear of their lives.

Stay tuned to Cracker Nation News for more details as they emerge.

Reporting for CNBC from Pillsbury H.Q. in Sioux City Iowa  Graham T. Wheat

To see the reaction to the Rye Krisp In Charge’s actions click here.

Inspiration for this story came from  Cracker Paul Carrier. Spread those crumbs around Cracker Paul

Now And Then


Breaking News From CNBC { Cracker News Broadcasting Corp}                                                                                                                                                                                                           It would seem that our story of earlier
today of The New Black Panther Party’s Cracker Outreach Program in
conjunction with the NPRCA { National Professional Rodeo Cowboy’s
Association } in which the two groups will be bringing Cracker Culture
to deprived inner city Panther youth in the form of Midnite
Rodeo has sparked some journalistic fervor in our audience. The photo
below was submitted anonymously by an audience member. It
appears that Mr. Malik Zuzlu Shabazz A.K.A. The Bronze Buckeroo was
bitten early in life by the rodeo bug. What’s next Bronze Buckeroo a
membership in The Black Hockey Dad’s Association?

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